what it is to know his supremacy...

Let us press on to know the supremacy of Christ. In the midst of all hurt, all pain, all struggle... let us know his supremacy.

"There is not one square inch of the entire creation about which Jesus Christ does not cry out, 'This is mine! This belongs to me.'" Abraham Kuyper

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Lesson for Today: Don't ever count anything out. People will surprise you.

We're in a war, ya'll...

So many thoughts today. All trying to converge into one post...

Last night, I had a really low tire. So we went and filled it up. Today, I was going to the Falls to run some errands. I got on the 190, and as I was getting up to speed, I found myself being very cautious and in tune with how my car was driving. I still wasn't sure if my tire had a significant leak in it, or if it just needed some extra air. With all the tire problems I've had with this car, I had no confidence in it. Hence, the slow driving. I thought about the times when I have confidence in my car. I get on the 190 and get up to speed as fast as possible. I hit the speed limit and keep going. But not today. Because I lacked confidence.

It was a simple moment, nothing the average car driver hasnt experienced. But in that thought, God revealed a truth to my heart. How often do you approach life timidly and at a slow pace because you have no confidence in Me? It hit me like a ton of bricks. Things I am facing in my life right now, I find myself walking cautiously and fearfully because I dont want to dive in until I know that its safe. But if I had confidence in the God of the Universe, what would stop me from going ahead, full speed? I thought of Perry Noble's message on the victory we have in Christ. Once Jesus rose again, God did not call us to go win the war. He already won. He simply called us to RUN UP THE SCORE. We've won. What's keeping us from running a risky play when were up 100 to none? 

As I came home and thought about it, I put on Tye Tribbet's song, "Stand Out." Listen to it, and read the lyrics. Let it raise up the warrior in you. We've won. Go after every opportunity and every situation with a confidence that shows your side has got the victory.

Sound the alarm!!

When the enemy comes in like a flood

The Spirit of the Lord will raise up a standard against him.

I see the enemy coming in like a flood

in our houses, in our churches, in our families.

But what I dont see is the standard. People of God,

where's the standard at?

We in a war ya'll. Its time to stand Out!

Its about to go down. The battle has begun.

Its time for you to choose, whose side you gonna be on.

The devil is recruiting, temptin every man.

But he's already defeated, all we have to do is stand.

No time for mixing light with the darkness.

Be black or be white, no more shades of grey.

Be separated, be holy, no matter what you do, dont bow.

And even if you stand alone, stand anyhow.

Rise up!

Rise up people, put on your strength.

There's a war going on and we will win.

Stand up and fight, let the kingdom prevail.

With power and might, we will stand out.

Stand out! Be not conformed to this world.

Stand out! Be transformed, renew your mind.

Stand out! Just like the three Hebrew boys.

Stand out!

God is playin it cool, dont wanna rub nobody the wrong way.

Almost like were trying to fit in. Acting like we dont know the name.

Its time for us to stand out and go against the grain.

Forget tryin to be down, let the world know youve been changed.

How you gonna be the praise leader? But you listen to R & B?

And hip hop is on your ringtone? Im trynna tell you God aint pleased.

And since when did it become cool for you to live together unmarried?

Men with men?

Women with women?

Im tellin you God aint gon have it.

Its time to recognize.

The war its in disguise.

No time for compromise.

Wake up, open your eyes.

The devil is a lie.

You must be hot or cold.

You cant blend in the crowd.

Its time for God's people to 

Stand Out!

LET ME HEAR YOUR WAR CRY!

LET ME HEAR YOUR WAR CRY!

Little bit louder.

One more time!

We in a war people of God.

You don't have to fight, all you gotta do is stand.

Make some noise.

Having done all to stand...

Now stand people of God!

The way we approach life is directly correlated with our confidence in our Maker and Saviour. 

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Lesson for Today: A reminder today that the small fact of living in a country where I speak the language is an incredible blessing.

Everyone has a Story...

"On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God: 'Why did you permit this? Why don't you do something about it?' For a while God said nothing. That night he replied, quite suddenly: 'I certainly did something about it. I made you.'"

I once heard a story about a homeless man on Hollywood Blvd who really thought he was invisible. But one day a kid handed the man a Christian pamphlet. The homeless guy was shocked and amazed, “what! You can see me? How can you see me? I’m invisible!”

It isn’t hard to comprehend this man’s slow spiral into invisibility. Once on the street, people started to walk past him, ignoring him as if he didn’t exist… much like they do a piece of trash on the sidewalk. It’s not that people are bad, but if we make eye contact, or engage in conversation, then we have to admit they exist and that we might have a basic human need to care. But it’s so much easier to simply close our eyes and shield our hearts to their existence.

I not only feel their pain, I truly know their pain. I lived their pain. You’d never know it now but I was a homeless person. Fourteen years ago, I lived on Hollywood Blvd. But today, I find myself looking away, ignoring the faces, avoiding their eyes — and I’m ashamed when I realize I’m doing it. But I really can feel their pain, and it is almost unbearable, but it’s just under the surface of my professional exterior.

The invisible guy didn’t intend to become homeless. I didn’t plan on living on the street. Everyone on the streets has their own story, some made bad decisions, others were victims, but none of them deserve what they have been left with, and it is a reflection of our own society that we just leave them there.

Mark Horvath is a man on a mission. He came from a place of homelessness and then went back to document the stories of homeless men, women and children all around the country. The stories he has found break my heart. 

I wonder, if it weren't for him, would these people have had the opportunity to ever tell their story? Would the cold of the coming December nights or the burn of a hungry stomach take them before they could ever share? Some are homeless because of something they did. Many are homeless because of something that happened to them. Do we care? Or do we treat them like they are invisible?

If we truly serve a God of mercy and forgiveness, then may our hearts begin to break in a new way for those who need someone to come along and be their miracle.

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Lesson for Today: Old friends, new joys.

What kind of love?

I was watching one of mine and Jaim's favorite chick-flicks last night.. One of the best things about movies is that, depending on what is happening in your life, you pick up completely different things when you watch it multiple times.

Anyway, I was watching a scene in the climax of the movie, at which point the boy who is in love with the girl has lost her to another guy. In a conversation with someone, he is asked, "Well, what kind of love it is? Is it love, big love, or great love?" Not understanding the difference, it is explained, "Love you get over in two months. Big love you get over in two years. And great love... Well, great love changes your life."

While it can be argued that the first two might not be true love, the point stands. Great love changes your life.

As I sat there watching, my mind drifted to real life. My love for Gary has absolutely changed my life. I find myself still sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for his call, trying to get dinner ready so the moment he walks in from his day he can relax, hating every morning when he gets up and leaves for work. My life is far from what it was before Gary.

And then I thought about my love for God. Has it changed my life? Is my love for him something that I can easily forget and discard? Or is it something that wakes me up every morning to meet with him, that keeps me anxiously awaiting his voice, that will lead me into the darkest pit, simply because I know it is there he wants me to be? What kind of love is the love I have for Jesus?

In that simple moment of a chick-flick drama, I was challenged on my love for my Saviour. It has changed my life. But I pray it never stops changing me. Because it is then that I have lost out on the fullness of the greatest love I could ever find.

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Lesson for Today: Oprah is on her way out after 25 years... Wow.

On Your Mark, Priscilla...

Back to a Catalyst overview... Priscilla Shirer (daughter of Dr. Tony Evans who is definitely worth looking up and listening to) was the next speaker. A dynamic Bible teacher, Priscilla challenged us through the life of Joshua. From Joshua 3-5, she observed four characteristics of a strong leader:

1. Acting immediately in response to God
2. Acting fearlessly
3. Acknowledging the Presence of God
4. Anticipating God's miracles

Each one of those is a life lesson in itself, let alone trying to implement all four at once. But then, Joshua had years of watching Moses act those out before he was given the chance to demonstrate those traits in leadership. 

Can you imagine if all the leaders of our church worked at those four things? To act in response to God, and to act immediately and fearlessly. To acknowledge Who God is as we act, and His sovereignty over the situation. And to anticipate that He is going to work in a mighty, supernatural way. Think of a single situation in which all of us in some sort of leadership within our church were to act out those four. We would be an unstoppable force through which God would transform this community in a way we could only dream of.

We pray so hard and so long that God would work in this church and this community. Maybe He is just waiting for all of us to be the leaders He wants us to be - to act immediately and fearlessly, knowing He is in control, and expecting the miraculous - before He pours out His Spirit like a mighty flood over this Island and surrounding communities. Maybe we need to stop waiting for Him to be ready, and realize He is waiting for US to be ready.

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Lesson for Today: I got 6 high fives today... It was a good day.

He is calling us out...

The church is HIS Church. Forgive us, Lord, for ever thinking differently.

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Lesson for Today: Welcome to Moe's! And soon to come: Welcome to Chipotle.

Want to Help?...

On Monday, we got a call from Pastor Eric of the Buffalo Dream Center. Every year, the BDC does Boxes of Love, a program that distributes food and toys to over 4,000 families in Buffalo. The toys and food are donated. Monday morning, he gets a call from Indiana, where a big bulk of their food donations for this program comes from. "We are so sorry - we won't be able to give you the food for Boxes of Love this year." Disappointed, but knowing God would pull through, Pastor Eric hung up. Later that morning, he gets a call saying over 8 tractor trailer-full loads of food are coming his way!

You see, Extreme Makeover Home Edition is in Buffalo this week. And every city they go into, they bring food to distribute to the charities within that area. Through a set of circumstances, the food is all going to the BDC (to be organized and then distributed) because no one else had the space to store all of that food. 

A few weeks ago, while having dinner with Pastor Eric and his wife, Michelle, he told us that he had warehouse space for Boxes of Love already. "Its so out of the ordinary. Every year, it comes down to the 11th hour before we find someone to donate warehouse space... I know something is coming because getting warehouse space this early is far from normal." Well, now he knows why.

Not only did one tractor trailer-full of food back out just in time for over 8 to come in, but he had more warehouse space than any previous year, earlier than any previous year. All because God knew they would need it to store the food in. The food that is needed for Boxes of Love will be distributed, and the rest will be given to charities all through the city.

This cant be done without help, though. Not only do they have to move all that food into the warehouse, but each tractor trailer is a hodge-podge of items. So it needs to be separated and organized. On top of that, they need volunteers to pack the bags for Boxes of Love.

If you want to be a part of this awesome opportunity, leave a comment or email me (jess.asbach@yahoo.com). I cant stress enough that, not only does the BDC NEED volunteers to make this happen, but you will be blessed beyond belief by being a part of this. Here is your chance to feed the poor as God calls us to do over and over again in His Word.

If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land the the LORD your God is giving you... give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. Deuteronomy 15

God is all over this situation. To distribute food, toys, and joy in the Name of His Son is something He's all about. And He pulled through big time. Thats the God we serve.

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Lesson for Today: No lesson. Other than God really is awesome. :)

Calvin...

This past Friday, we were in Richmond looking for the location of Bottom's Up, a mom and pop pizza place. While driving around the city, we saw a homeless man on the side of the street, holding a sign, asking for money. We were stopped at a red light and as I continued to watch him, my heart broke for him. I wished I had a McDonald's gift card, or something else useful, to give to him. But the light turned green and my window of opportunity to help him closed.

We finally found Bottom's Up and learned that a table for five would be a 45 minute wait. So we put our name down and decided to wander the city in the meantime. As we did, we found ourselves unintentionally back on the street where this man had been standing. My heart silently rejoiced as I saw God opening our window once again. We walked up to him, handed him some dollars, and asked if we could pray for him. Looking a mix of grateful and slightly confused, he readily agreed. "Calvin, my name's Calvin," he told us when we asked. So we stood there and prayed with, and over, Calvin. 

We left him with a "God bless you" and some extra money in his pocket - but my heart still felt heavy. Feeling like we had simply thrown money at a problem, I knew we needed to do something more. So we decided we should go back and invite Calvin to dinner. This way, we could not only feed him, but build a bit of a relationship with him. So we wandered back and asked Calvin to dinner. But he declined. "I just had some McDonald's and Im full now. Thanks though." After pressing if he was sure, we left Calvin to stand there with his sign and went on our way.

Two things impressed on my heart from our interaction with Calvin. First, in order to meet a need, it is imperative to know what the need is. Deep, huh? But so often we act on perceived needs, the needs we assume someone has. However, meeting a perceived need rather than an actual need doesnt help that person any. In trying to help Calvin, I wanted to meet his need for food, when in fact, that was only what I perceived his need to be. And in doing so, I didnt meet his actual needs. I still believe we did what God asked us to do. And there is no regret in that. But when serving others, we need to be focused on finding out what the need is; we cant be concerned with simply meeting a need. This is why partnering with inner city ministries is vital. 

The second thing I walked away from Calvin with is that ministry is everywhere. Sometimes we have this idea that we have to be set up in the right circumstances and take months of preparation to participate in outreach or serving ministry. But its all around you. Its in the person who sits next to you at work. Its in the neighbor on his driveway three doors down. Its in a homeless man on the street when you are on vacation. Dont think ministry is something you always have to go find. Its all around you. And understanding that will change the way we "be the Church."

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Lesson for Today: Mice like peanut butter. It works, oh, so well.

You are the Light of the World...

This week, Im on vacation. And Ive been reminded of a few things. First, Lucky Charms are as good as I remember them to be. And two large bowls for breakfast is never enough. Second, Walmart is universal. And third, I am blessed to live in Buffalo where the cold weather comes by the beginning of October.

But aside from those, I have also been thinking a lot about outreach and service while down here. And how much my generation loves to fight for social justice and help the poor. Its in. Its trendy. Its what we enjoy to do.

But serving others isnt enough. So many in my generation go out and help the poor once a week or find a project to help with every month, and walk away from completing a good deed to feel satisfied and fulfilled. Its almost as if, in a prideful way, we say, "Im so great for having helped that poor guy who couldnt have done it himself." This isnt what Christ has called us to.

He has called us to a holy life. All of our life must be set apart, not just the one hour a week we give to the needy. Our speech must be holy, our mind must be pure, our actions towards our middle class neighbor must reflect God's love. We have not only been called to serve, we have been called to holiness. And holiness cant be in a single aspect of one's life. It has to infiltrate it all.

You are the light of the world, Jesus told us. We need to realize that a light is light, through and through. No more picking and choosing what part of our lives we allow to be light, and what parts we will harbor darkness. Be light or be dark. For in today's world, picking both sides is as good as picking no side.

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Lesson for Today: In a Pickle and Buzz Word are two very entertaining games.

On Your Mark, Tony and Francis...

The next three speakers were Tony Dungy, Matt Chandler, and Francis Chan. We missed Matt Chandler, and Tony and Francis can both fit into this post together...

Tony Dungy is an incredibly humble man. When he finished his time on stage, Gary and I looked at each other and both remarked on how we respect him. He is making a difference for the Kingdom in a way only he can, and isnt that what we are all called to do?

His message was on teamwork. "Help your players be the best they can be," and, "Get everyone on the team to focus on one goal." Some serious leadership lessons right there. Not anything new or remarkably life changing. But its the application of those two phrases that can change a leader's entire approach to his team.

Francis Chan led us into communion. He got up on stage and talked about how he battled with God to give him a good message for Catalyst. But in the end, let it go. Because God is God and that message is enough. He laughed in the joy of the Spirit (Heidi Baker style, but way more subdued, for those of you who know of her), and passion was dripping from his spirit. He simply wanted to read us Scripture, telling us God's Word is more powerful than any message he could give. And so he did. And in those moments of him reading, the Scriptures came alive to me again in a new way - Scriptures I have heard over and over again. Remember, he said, "the God of all grace will Himself restore you, confirm you." Such power.

As he was finishing and communion was being passed out, Aaron Keyes came up to lead us in worship again. And in that moment, he said something that has come back to me countless times since the conference. He talked about how, in the Old Testament, when someone brought a sacrifice, God only cared about the perfection of the lamb. The focus wasnt on the perfection of the person, but on the perfection of the sacrifice. Our sacrifice is Christ - the perfect and spotless Lamb - whose blood covers all. It was such a powerful reminder that its not about me. Its about standing on the sacrifice and in the righteousness of Christ. Under him, I am covered. Praise our Almighty God.

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Lesson for Today: Hurt abounds. Be gracious to people around you, even when they dont deserve it. Because you dont know what hurt they are acting out of.

On Your Mark, Rob...

Technically, Shane Hipps was the speaker after Malcolm. But since he was my favorite (yes, not the reaction most other people had...), and because I just got his book and want to read it before I comment on him further, I will move on to Rob Bell.

Rob had two main themes running through his message. The first was that leaders must fight hard against the time demands in ministry. He asked pointedly, "Does your spouse get your very best, or does your spouse get whats left over after youve given your all to the thing youre building?" Your spouse will be with you along the whole journey, so dont forsake them for a single project. Everyone needs something from you. But you have to make sure your family gets their needs met first, and best. God has given you your family to bless you, and for you to be a blessing to them: dont waste that.

The other thing Rob talked about was simple enough to really burrow into my mind. He talked about how a church is a eucharist, meaning good grace or good gift, for its town, community, city. And being the church, you, too are a eucharist. You are a good gift to the community God has put you in. But when you break that down, analyze it, and disagree (saying you arent fit to be where you are, others can do it better, or you dont do anything important), you disgrace a holy and sacred thing that God has put in place.

We do what we do because God has told us to. Thats as simple as it can get. And in ministry we have to surrender our agenda to His.

Like many of the other leaders, Rob began and finished with prayer. But two things he said in those prayers really stood out, and seemed to be the glue of his message. They are things I now pray for myself, and for our church.

Lord God, we give your Spirit permission to set us free. And Creator, we repent of all the ways we have failed to be ourselves.

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Lesson for Today: I finally figured out that the website to create a free playlist to play most any song you want is playlist.com. Sweet. It only took forever. Oh, and while Im on a music topic, here is another one of Aaron Keyes songs. I love this one.

On Your Mark, Aaron...

Aaron Keyes was one of the worship leaders at Catalyst. And since worship was such a huge part of the blessing at the conference, I thought it needed to be addressed and shared as well.

Here is one of the songs we sang, so you can experience it as well...

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Lesson for Today: Orbiting the Giant Hairball is so good. Its awesome how God's truth can so often come from the business world. And that it can show me how much I really need to be whipped into shape.

On Your Mark, Malcolm...

Malcolm Gladwell was finally on stage - I had much anticipation and expectation for this man I had come to know, as one often can through someone's writings. A genius in many respects.

A genius, and yet his whole message to the leaders of today was wrapped up in one word: humility. Coming from a man who has been on the NYTimes Best Seller List multiple times, has his own column in the New Yorker, and has countless fans.

Using the historic example of the Battle of Chancellorsville, Gladwell taught that those who are overconfident in leadership are dangerous. "Incompetence annoys me," he said. "Overconfidence scares me." Because, most often, those making incompetent decisions aren't those in a position of leadership. But those in leadership are more prey to thinking they know how to handle everything, and their decisions made in overconfidence can affect a lot more people than an average man's incompetent decision.

"The world around you is changing, but overconfidence will blind you from it... In times of crisis, we need humility from our leaders, not daring and boldness that comes from overconfidence." And today can fairly accurately be labeled a "time of crisis." People need Jesus.

At the end of his talk, Gladwell was asked what will signal overconfidence in a leader. "A key sign of overconfidence is when a leader stops listening to those around them, they refuse to hear anything other than what is sure in their head... Humility is an ability, or a willingness, to listen to others."

It was a reminder that God calls us to community. Even in leadership. Or maybe especially in leadership. And the moment we think we can do it alone, weve already failed.

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Lesson for Today: Malcolm Gladwell is really cool. Read his stuff.

On Your Mark, Jessica...

The second speaker at Catalyst was Jessica Jackley, founder of Kiva, a peer-to-peer microlending website. Basically, her organization allows people to make anywhere from $25 to $500 loans to people in third world countries who need financing to start their own business. And as the business grows, they pay the loan back. 

A few things struck me as I listened to her. The first was that God can do anything through anyone. Here is a young surfer/poet/yoga instructor who found a need, asked her friends and family to help, and now only a few years later, has seen almost $100 million given. God will bless what fulfills his purposes, no matter how small a start.

Another thing that resonated with me was the notion that giving creates dependency, while loaning creates independency and responsibility. By loaning the money and taking the repayment, one can give a man or woman living in complete poverty the dignity and self-worth that independence creates. Its not just about throwing money at a problem. Its about helping someone financially, emotionally, and socially. Think about your husband, brother, or father being unable to support his family in such dire circumstances that he cant bring home dinner tonight. He cant provide new shoes for his kids as they walk miles to school. He cant provide medical care when his wife gets sick.... God has created man to provide. Its within his very make-up to have a deep-seated desire to provide for his family. And microfinancing can give him that opportunity.

The third take away from Jessica was these three ideas: Connectivity, Equality, Mutual Respect. Tied to the idea of creating independence, microfinancing produces an equality among people of different races, cultures, classes, and color. Because the loan is being paid back, the givers find themselves in the midst of connecting and respecting those who are working as hard as possible to pay that back off - while building a business from the ground up.

Its a powerful concept. How such a little thing can make such a big difference in a human life.

And worth noting, Hope International also has a microfinancing program.

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Lesson for Today: Growing news stories about your own community are extremely interesting to track - as well as the commenters that get involved.

On Your Mark, Andy...

Catalyst 2009 was incredible. Worshipping, learning, and mingling with over 12,000 other leaders from around the country is an experience one doesnt get every day. So much happened over the past couple days that has left me with plenty to process. I thought writing would be a helpful way of going through all that I learned and all that God spoke to my heart... So here is each message, summed up through my eyes, in my own words...

Andy Stanley opened the first day. After each message, I tried to pull out the one or two words that would describe what had just been communicated. Andy's I titled "Service in Devotion." Using Joshua 5 and 23, he spoke on how we need to be more concerned with being on God's side, rather than who is on our side. The quote he used was from his dad growing up: "God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him." In other words, do what God has called you to do, and leave the rest up to Him - He'll take care of it. We are meant to play a role in a bigger picture than what we can see. And if we spend all of our lives caught up in only our own life, we are leaving much too small a mark.

The thing that really hit me in his message was when he said, "You have no idea what God wants to do through you. You won't even know He's done the most significant thing in you until well past when its over." We get so caught up in waiting for something big to happen, dont we? Im one of the worst at this. I am constantly seeking significance, meaning, wanting to simply make a difference. And yet, all along God has used me to be significant in the lives of others. Too often I miss it because I am so caught up in wanting it. Andy reminded me that I simply need to do what God is calling me to do, and when I look back, I will see significance. A life caught up entirely in God cannot end without having made a difference. Our God is too big for that.

So trust. And rest. He will use you in ways beyond your imagination. Just continue to obey.

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Lesson for Today: Being behind the camera is so much better than being in front of it. Talk about a lot of laughs.

Small Actions, Big Results...

If you take a piece of paper and fold it in half 50 times, do you know how tall it would be?

It would reach the sun. And fold it in half one more time and it would be the length of the distance from the sun and back. This is one of those puzzles that you have probably heard before, but it made me think this time.

Andy Stanley is often talking about how little decisions made today will most definitely affect your future. Things like cutting out a regular sized Tim Hortons coffee from your daily morning routine will save you over $1500 in three years. Or making it a point to call a family member once a week will change your relationship in a year. While we tend to focus on the big, obvious actions of our lives, its the small things day to day that really make the difference.

When I think about how something as thin as a piece of paper can reach the sun if it was simply folded in half 50 times, it brought me back to Andy's philosophy. Little things can have huge, life altering results. And the point is that we need to be faithful to the smallest of things that God calls us to. 

Because it just might end up changing your life.

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Lesson for Today: A recent study has found that when pregnant women are exposed to the BPA chemical in Nalgene bottles and other sources, they have a higher risk for female children with aggression and ADHD...

Perry Goes to Clemson...

Ive been becoming quite a fan of NewSpring Church. Perry Noble, the Senior Pastor, has a say-it-like-it-is, there-is-no-such-thing-as-too-blunt kind of attitude. And its refreshing. He speaks the Word of God with truth and conviction. Check em out.

One of his most recent series, In Rhythm, talks a lot about petty issues that frustrate church members - and how we need to get over them in order to build the Kingdom. So, to really hit home his point, he headed up to Clemson to talk with head coach Dabo Swinny. I think youre gonna like it.

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Lesson for Today: Praying for your food in Panera can bring on a plethora of comments from the bystanders...

New Beginnings...

Today is October 1. And with it, comes a new beginning. I continually forget, or perhaps just dont meditate enough on the fact that God is a God of new beginnings. Anyone in him is a new creation: the old is gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5.17). His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3.23). He desires to be worshipped with new songs (Psalm 33.3) and when we've lost our ability to sing, He is the One that gives us that new song to sing (Psalm 40.3).

The reality of a new beginning is so freeing. Its October 1, and God has given us a new month to sing new praises. As Ive been on this journey, I have tried to keep coming back to the idea of new beginnings. Every bit of newness He gives us needs to be recognized - and dedicated. God has called for our first fruits. But how do we give him the first of something old? It is in his gracious giving of new beginnings that we have the opportunity to continually give of ourselves, our thoughts and actions, our hearts over to Him.

Dedicate the first page of a new prayer journal to praising Him. Dedicate the first day back to work from vacation to focusing your mind on who God is, rather than diving right in to all there is to catch up on. Dedicate the first day of the month to spending extra time with God, asking what purposes He holds for you in that month. Wake up every morning and dedicate the first minutes to thanking Him for His mercies that are renewed. Again:

Every bit of newness He gives us needs to be recognized - and dedicated.

Isn't He worthy of that?

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Lesson for Today: Awesome worship song. Thanks, Jaim.

The Good Samaritan...

I've been reading Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point this weekend - getting ready to hear him at the Catalyst conference.

At one point midway through the book, he looks at an experiment by Princeton University psychologists John Darley and Daniel Baston inspired by the "Good Samaritan" idea. They took a group of seminarians from Princeton Theological Seminary and told them they would have to prepare a sermon and then walk to the building next door and present it. They introduced three variables into the experiment: 1.) Before the experiment started, they asked the students why they were in seminary, whether it was for personal fulfillment or to help others, etc., 2.) Some of them were told to develop a sermon on the relevance of the professional clergy to the religious vocation and the others were told to do it on the parable of the Good Samaritan, 3.) Half of them were told they were a few minutes early and could take their time getting to the building where they were supposed to give their talk. The other half were told they were a few minutes late and should hurry over.

On the path the students would take to deliver their sermons, Darley and Baston planted a man "slumped in an alley, head down, eyes closed, coughing and groaning." The expected result was that those who had responded that they were in seminary to help others, and those who had to prepare their sermon on the Good Samaritan (thereby having just spent time on the command to help those in need) would be the two groups most likely to stop and help the man. But the results shocked both Darley and Baston. Neither of those two variables made any difference. The only thing that mattered was whether the seminarian was told he was late or not. Of those told they had some time to spare, 63% stopped to help the man. Of those told they were late, only 10% stopped to help.

Darley and Baston said of the experiment, "It is hard to think of a context in which norms concerning helping those in distress are more salient than for a person thinking about the Good Samaritan, and yet it did not significantly increase helping behavior. Indeed, on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way."

That statement made me stop. And wonder.

Wonder how many times Ive stepped over someone in need because I was late for a ministry meeting, or to get to church, or to do some other "righteous" act for God. And wonder what opportunities Ive missed in serving Christ because I was too busy or too late. How God's heart must break in the times when His servants miss what He has put right in front of their eyes. Or right under their feet.

...

Lesson for Today: Tony Stewart endorses Burger King because he loves it. Or so they say.

To Relinquish, To Abandon...

One of the definitions of surrender is "to give up, relinquish or abandon." As I've been thinking about surrender tonight, I thought about how we view surrender as such a negative thing. Gary and I just recently had a conversation about how no guy likes the word "surrender." It is simply not something a guy wants to do, generally. He wants to stand up, defend, fight, win. Not surrender. I dont know many girls who like the idea of surrendering, either. Its because we are ingrained to look out for ourselves. Surrender goes against our very nature.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize how much we miss because we are not willing to surrender to our God. While, yes, part of surrender is giving up every part of ourselves for Him to do with what He will, the other part of surrender is abandoning ourselves to His love. To give up, relinquish, and abandon the pursuit of earning His love. We can't earn it. Ever. No matter what. All we can do is surrender to it.

Surrender to it in such a way that we are completely enveloped in it. Like a man in a canoe is powerless to do anything against the raging rapids - he is surrendered to the ride - so we, too, must sit in our canoe and let God's love take us wherever He wants. It may be over a waterfall we would call suicide. It may be down a tiny stream we would call simplistic. It may be in waters raging so hard we would call it uncontrollable. But that's the point, isnt it? If we are still in control, we havent surrendered yet, have we?

John Mark McMillan's song, "How He Loves" is a perfect picture of this.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight
of His wind and mercy...
He loves us, Oh how he loves us

Surrendering to his love means we are going to have to bend. Like a tree in a hurricane.

And all of the sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions
eclisped by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections
are for me...
He loves us, Oh how he loves us

But oh, to realize how great his affections are for us. The prize of His love is so worth the surrender.

We are his portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If his grace is an ocean
We're all sinking

We are his portion and He is our prize. He is our prize. He is our prize. I dont think we can ever fully understand the weight of that. For if we did, we would be falling at his feet and surrender wouldnt be the struggle it so often is. He is our prize.

And heaven meets earth in an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I dont have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...
Oh, how he loves us all
Oh, how he loves us...

There is no reason to maintain the regrets we have when we realize His blood and His love cover all. Oh, how we loves us so.

Praise God for the opportunity to surrender.

...

Lesson for Today: Playing Cedric over Ray is the way to go in Fantasy Football...

Richness and Blessing...

More truth from Walter and Ragman:

In the terrible, terrible doing of ministry is the minister born. And, curiously, the best teachers of that nascent minister are sometimes the neediest people, foul to touch, [unworthy], ungiving, unlovely, yet haughty in demanding - and then miraculously receiving - love. These poor, forever with us, are our riches.

Oh God, let me know the richness you have given me by putting people all around me who are desperate and needing. For giving me people to love you through. For allowing me the opportunity to physically serve you. Thank you for the poor and the broken, the hungry and the sick, the imprisoned and the hurting; for it is through them that I can touch you, it is in their face that I see your eyes, it is on their skin that I feel your warmth. Make me know, truly know the extent of those blessings. Increase your presence in my life through them.

And thank you for their sacrifice and humility in receiving my help, that I may draw near to you in the journey.

...

Lessons for Today: The number of people whose last name falls in the A-D category here at WRBC is exceptionally long... Wouldn't have thought.

"It Involves the Supernatural"...

I sat with a man this weekend who obviously loves telling stories. He is 76 and from the "old country": Germany. He immigrated here after the war, and like my grandparents, strove to make a new life for himself in a completely new world. Being able to sit and hear the stories that comes from a life like this fascinates and challenges me.

As we were sitting around the table, he started his final story by saying, "This will be my last story, but I have to tell you...because you need to know." And then he began to share:

He lived in a small village as a child. His father was a farmer and their house was a ways off the main road. All the land they had in the back was filled with hay piles "about this big" he told us, pointing to the roof of the tent we were sitting under (about 10 feet high) and "three more feet out that way" he pointed, showing us an area about 10 feet wide. One night during the Second World War, his family got news that the Russians were coming to town. "They were coming to rape our women, kill our children, and plunder what little was in our town," he told us. So in order to save the family, the four grandparents had everyone crawl down into the basement and covered the doors with piles of firewood. "They were the only ones who knew where we were. And there was no way we could push that firewood away to open the doors. So if anything happened to them, we would suffocate in there."

That night, the Russians came. Somehow, the grandparents were found out and began to run (those details were left out of the story and Im a little fuzzy on why or what happened with the "finding out"). They ran into the back fields and decided to hide in the middle of one of the big hay piles. They dug a hole out of the center, all four climbed in, and they filled the hole back in. Now hidden, they could only pray that God saved them. 

Realizing they must be hiding, the Russians began to stab the hay piles with their bayonets. "When they came to the one my grandparents were in, 5 stabs went in: the first on the right of the end person, the second in between the two first people, and so on down the line. The last on went in on the left side of the person on the other end." Had it been any closer, they would have been found out, killed, and the rest of the family would have died in the basement. God saved their lives... by inches.

"Christianity is not just an ideal. It involves the supernatural." His point of the story was that God was merciful, and they recognized it as God - something many of us don't do anymore. We recognize a near accident that we just miss as lucky. We see our healing as the doctor's knowledge and modern medicine. Not that God doesn't work through doctors or medicine, but we need to give credit where credit is due.

And recognize that time and again, God saves our lives... by inches.

...

Lesson for Today:  If roasted with garlic and pine nuts, broccoli can actually be termed "good." I know, who knew?

God, I love you, too...

In reading Ragman by Walter Wangerin, Jr., I have come across two passages that have made me stop. 

Stop. And think.

For fear of diminishing the profundity of his words, I am simply going to leave them here, comment-less. Receive from it what you will:

For you are wonderful beyond describing it. And yet you love me. And still you choose to notice me. And nonetheless, you bend your boundless being, your infinity, into space and time, into things and into history, to find me, to preserve my life. Abba, Abba, Father! How it is that you care for me?

I whisper, amazed that you should care to hear it; I whisper, astonished that it could make a difference to the Deity; I whisper here, now, the truth of my heart and the wholeness of my being:

I whisper, God, I love you, too.

~   ~   ~

You emptied yourself to enter the city, and though your coming may not make it good, it makes you cry, and there you are. In the oily streets, damp with rain and human sin, lit by a single light, I see your face reflected. O God, your incarnation's in the streets. I see the city, and I cannot help but see you.

And I love you.

They ask me, "Whom do you love?" And I tell them I love you. They ask, "But whom do you love?" I point to the city. They insist, "But whom do you love?"

And since they cannot see you for themselves, I do the next best thing: I tell them stories. I tell them a thousand stories, Lord. For the city is active, and you are acting in it, always; and activity's a story. I tell them about you by telling them the story.... Convince them of your love, O Lord....

Because I love you, and I love them too. But yours is the mightier love, and I wish they knew it. Oh! I wish they could laugh out loud for the knowledge of your love for them.

So I turn to you, here at the beginning: Give them eyes, bright God, to see you everywhere. They are the city: to see you in themselves! Give them ears, thou roll of thunder, and feeling for your presence - ...in the streets because you choose to love them.

...

Lesson for Today: I dont regret anything about my wedding day and how we did things... But I have to admit that this comes close to making me wish we had been a little bit more out of the box.

Theres No Such Thing?...

Ive been reading Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. Its a really interesting read on what goes on inside our subconscious, how we make decisions in a "blink" of time without thinking about them, and how those decisions can be right or wrong, depending.

In the conclusion of his book, he writes about how having too much information can be detrimental to our judgement.

We live in a world saturated with information. We have virtually unlimited amounts of data at our fingertips at all times, and we're well versed in the arguments about the dangers of not knowing enough and not doing our homework. But what I have sensed is an enormous frustration with the unexpected costs of knowing too much, of being inundated with information. We have come to confuse information with understanding.

I was hit a little unexpectedly by that point. Its true that our world today gives us the ability to access any piece of information in mere seconds - milliseconds even. We can know almost anything about anything. And we think thats helped us.

Yes, it provides for ease. It speeds up trends. It moves us at a faster pace. But do we take it for what is? That all we are gaining is knowledge and information, not understanding? Or do we think we are a better people because our brains are filled more than the previous generation?

When I read Gladwell's quote, I thought of the song I used to hear on the radio as a kid, "Too Much Fun," by Daryle Singletary. "Too much fun, what's that mean? Its like too much money, theres no such thing. Its like a girl too pretty, with too much class. Being too lucky. A car to fast. No matter what they say Ive done.. Well, I aint never had too much fun." In our age today, we dont know what "too much" is. Isnt more always better? No, not always. Not when we think enough of one thing makes up for a lack of another. Not when we think information can take the place of understanding. For God has declared, "...a people without understanding will come to ruin!" (Hosea 4.14)

Sometimes, I think Gladwell is right - there IS such a thing as too much information.

...

Lesson for Today: Some people really know what it is to take advantage of a deal. 31 days of travel, spending 12 hours in each city. Way to go Joe and Clark.

God Saves...

I sat with a man tonight who obviously loves telling stories. He is 76 and from the "old country": Germany. He immigrated here after the war, and like my grandparents, strove to make a new life for himself in a completely new world. Being able to sit and hear the stories that comes from a life like this fascinates and challenges me.

As we were sitting around the table, he started his final story by saying, "This will be my last story, but I have to tell you...because you need to know." And then he began to share:

He lived in a small village as a child. His father was a farmer and their house was a ways off the main road. All the land they had in the back was filled with hay piles "about this big" he told us, pointing to the roof of the tent we were sitting under (about 10 feet high) and "three more feet out that way" he pointed, showing us an area about 10 feet wide. One night during the Second World War, his family got news that the Russians were coming to town. "They were coming to rape our women, kill our children, and plunder what little was in our town," he told us. So in order to save the family, the four grandparents had everyone crawl down into the basement and covered the doors with piles of firewood. "They were the only ones who knew where we were. And there was no way we could push that firewood away to open the doors. So if anything happened to them, we would suffocate in there."

That night, the Russians came. Somehow, the grandparents were found out and began to run (those details were left out of the story and Im a little fuzzy on why or what happened with the "finding out"). They ran into the back fields and decided to hide in the middle of one of the big hay piles. They dug a hole out of the center, all four climbed in, and they filled the hole back in. Now hidden, they could only pray that God saved them. 

Realizing they must be hiding, the Russians began to stab the hay piles with their bayonets. "When they came to the one my grandparents were in, 5 stabs went in: the first on the right of the outside person, moving down the line to be in between each body, and the last on the left side of the other end." Had it been any closer, they would have been found out, killed, and the rest of the family would have died in the basement. God saved their lives... by inches.

"Christianity is not just an ideal. It involves the supernatural." His point of the story was that God was merciful, and they recognized it as God - something many of us don't do anymore. We recognize a near accident that we just miss as lucky. We see our healing as the doctor's knowledge and modern medicine. Not that God doesn't work through those things, but we need to give credit where credit is due.

And recognize that time again, God saves our lives... by inches.

...

Lesson for Today: When you arent sure what to do with people you dont know, tell stories.

Therefore, Go...

...You know me... You discern my going out and my lying down... You hem me in behind... and before... You lay Your hand upon me... for darkness is as light to You... You created my inmost being... You knit me together... I praise you... I am made... I was woven together... Your eyes saw... days ordained for me... I am still with you... search me... know my heart... lead me...

Psalm 139

Have you ever thought of how God made us for a specific purpose, but we cant fulfill that until we know what it is? Is my purpose the same as yours? Is yours the same as his? Or is it like hers? No, its YOURS. God created you, with a very specific plan and purpose in mind. He created you to do something totally different than he created me to do. He created Moses to go, He created Jeremiah to weep, He created Hosea to love relentlessly. Our purposes are definitively NOT the same. Some are called to reach out to hurting women, others are called to youth, others are called to parents in crisis... The list goes on. What is your purpose?

I found out my purpose this week. After 22 years, I now know what gifts and talents, strengths and abilities God has knit together inside of me, and I know for what purpose He did so. He created me to "Reform to Alleviate." And the freedom in knowing that gives me a joy and excitement beyond what I have known before. 

Life Purpose Coaching "asks questions that unlock your stories and lead you into a discovery of purpose that empowers you the rest of your life." Through this process, the Holy Spirit led me to realize what my specific part is in furthering the Father's plans here on this earth. "Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away." My time here is limited. I have 50-60 years left, and then my opportunity to be the creature God made me to be here on this earth... That opportunity is gone. In the blink of an eye, I will fly away. 

But in understanding my purpose, I can live with intentionality every day, in every situation. I can be who I was made to be with a sense of satisfaction.

"I have called you. Therefore, go..." 

What has he called you to? Where will you go?

...

Lesson for today: Very few movie stores still have Quiz Show available for rent. It was made in 1994, which means it is just far too old to have on hand anymore.

Are you an Eigen Function?...

There's a mathematical concept that has caught my attention over the past couple of months. But as I was looking it up to understand it a bit better, the engineer of the house walked by and laughed at me for reading articles on eigen functions on a Friday night... But Ive learned that theres more to be learned from them than just...well, whatever it is that math people learn from them. So heres the pay off of what I got from it.

Its been explained that an eigen function, at its most simple explanation, is that which is self-explaining, or as Stephen Denny puts it, "...its expression is self-validating." To give an example, the following sentence can be called an eigen function: "This sentence starts and ends with a T." It explains what it is. Get it? Sort of?

It took me a bit. But you can check more about how it plays into marketing at Stephen Denny's blog. Its a pretty solid marketing function and made me question a lot about how to be a better "business."

But past that, it made me think of what we are called to be as Christians. 1 John says, "Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did." We are called to be eigen functions. When we are explaining who Christ is, the person listening should get it immediately because they see how we live. When we are telling of the grace and forgiveness that comes at the feet of Jesus, we should be self-validating the grace and forgiveness we ourselves pour out on others.

Its been said before, in multiple ways, like "Walk the Talk." But the basic message of that phrase, and of the concept of eigen functions, is that we need to be the essence of what and Who we claim. Period.

Not bad for a Friday night of math articles, huh?

...

Lesson for Today: Doctor offices are no fun. Especially when they check your age to make sure you dont need a parent signature. And then get asked way too many questions that you have no idea how to answer.

Paper Walls...

I was in the car with my sister this past week as we heard a new song titled "Paper Walls." As I listened to the lyrics, I couldnt help but think of how much the Christian life is lived within those paper walls. Here are a few of the lyrics to give you the general idea:

Let's burn a hole so we can climb out

Of these paper walls and this empty house

Don't listen too close, their words are like guns

With bullets that fly and kill what you've won

Let's burn a hole so we can climb out

Of these paper walls and this empty house

We're the only thing thats real

These visions we have of ten years ago...

Some love to hate and some tell you lies

So let's make a toast and kiss them goodbye...

Here I am, still hold on to this

Dream we had, won't let go of it...

Let's take what hurts and write it all down

On these paper walls and this empty house

And when our ink runs out, we'll burn it to the ground

Here I am, still hold on to this

Dream we had, won't let go of it...

Here I stand, won't turn back again...

As I listen to that song, I envision the Christians who are living in houses made of paper walls - houses built by the hurt, lies, and darkness of this world. God has given us a dream, something we held on to and were excited about at first. But as we ran after what He put in our hearts, the world hit us across the face. And as we met with trials, walls began to build. The ironic part is: we arent trapped, even though we feel like it. We just have to realize those wall are only paper.

We live in these paper houses, thinking they will protect us from what the rest of the world will throw at us. And yet, in the bottom, deepest part of our hearts, we know that dream is from God and is meant to be fulfilled. Why cant we just set fire to the walls? Is it due to fear? To the comfort of living in some semblance of a house? 

We need to learn to break out. We need to write down what hurts, and let Christ set fire to those walls. We need to be freed to fulfill the purposes He created us for. Why cant we see that?

When I was in Mexico a few years ago, the church we were at had set up for prophetic art during the service. One of the members felt God put an image on his heart, so all service he was on the side of the sanctuary working on it. At the end, he held up an incredible sketching of a man inside a prison cell. He was lying on the floor beside a window - his shackles undone, the door opened. And yet, he continued to lie there. God was speaking through that image saying, "This is my church. I have freed you. FREED YOU! The door is open, I have paid your price, walk out and join me! Why wont you join me?"

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. There it is, right there. Galatians 5.1. We have been set free.

So let's take what hurts and write it all down. And when our ink runs out, we'll call fire from heaven to burn those walls down. And then well walk in the freedom we have in Christ, and never look back.

Never look back.

...

Lesson for today: Warren G. Harding was one of those men known for his striking features. Not that Im agreeing, or disagreeing. Just to say he was known for it back at the turn of the 20th century, according to journalist of the time, Mark Sullivan.

Our Chance to Change the World...

This past week was spent serving inner city kids and meeting other needs in Buffalo. The wildest part of it all is that we entered into a completely different world...ten minutes down the road from where we live. And I cant think of anything more challenging than that fact.

The week had its ups and downs as one can imagine, what with being in charge of 30+ five and six year old boys. But I would give a whole lot to do it again.

Sitting here tonight, I think about all I have seen over the past 6 days... In fact, I cant get it out of my head. Try as I might, images seem to be burned on the back of my eyes, as if I see the world I am in now through those memories... How different life is.

Sharing the images on my mind seems futile - like telling a Texan the good points about snow - only because I know that hearing it isnt like experiencing it. But I cant not tell. And I think it needs to be heard.

There are good images like Jermaine dancing up and down during closing ceremony, spinning in circles, trying to follow along with the song as best he could. And all the while looking up at me with his dark brown eyes and bright white smile. Or like watching Isaac share his toy with the same boys who would simply rip it out of his hands if he didnt give it willingly. Or sitting on the bus ride home, squeezed in a seat with three boys, and having us all tell stories and share 15 minutes of life together.

There are bad images like breaking up a fight between two five year olds and, while holding one of them away from the other, seeing the malice in his eyes and feeling his heart beating wildly with rage. Or the image of Mu-Nae, a Burmese refugee, walking out of her tiny apartment, confusion in her eyes, and her three children staring up at us with wonder. Or watching a fourteen and fifteen year old out on the street tell of their drug deals and the joy they would have in shooting someone with their newly bought "pieces of steel."

And there are heartbreaking images. Ones that can stop a smile mid-laugh. Like watching the tears roll down Linda's face, a homeless woman seeking prayer for a place to stay. Or hearing about one of the boy's mom who prostitutes herself to support her drug addiction, leaving the children home alone for days. Or seeing an old woman, who reminded me so much of my own grandma, stand in the blazing sun for half an hour just to get a bag of groceries because she has no one to care for her.

The images are vibrant and distinct right now. But Im worried that, as they start to slowly fade away, I will forget. Im worried I will forget Rodney's smile in spite of his horrendous situation. Im worried I will forget that these boys need more love and attention or they will end up a prison, youth violence, or death statistic. Im worried I will forget that all this need is just around the corner.

And as I think about forgetting, I know that I need to soak up what God has taught me this week as much as possible so that it is ingrained in me - even when the images fade.

So what to do now? How do we change how we live in suburbia to meet these needs? What can I do to help past this one week?

Leviticus 19: The LORD said to Moses, "Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy....' When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God."

As I read this, I wonder how many times suburban Christians have gone over their harvest fields twice to gather everything for themselves that they can - myself included. How often do we milk all we can get out of situations, only to horde it for ourselves? We work overtime, we spend time finding great deals, we tithe our 10% and dont give a penny more... all so that our bank accounts can grow, our toys can multiply, and our security is cushioned. Why arent we allowing the edges of the harvest or the second gleaning to go to the incredible number of both the poor and alien in our own city?

And even more than how we live our individual lives, I think the way we do church needs to change; too often we pick up the grapes that have fallen and eat them ourselves when it comes to ministry as well. Why do we want to spend our money to make our church buildings look the best they can instead of using the money to reach the poor and bring them through our doors? Why does our effort go to creating programs that will "please" the "mature" Christians instead of putting all our effort into helping the nonChristian, the "immature"? What are we doing?

Not that Im in the habit of quoting him, but as Bono says... "Every generation gets a chance to change the world."

God, help us change.

...

Lesson for today: Scrubbing extremely dirty window blinds...out on a dirty sidewalk...with dirty water...and a soft sponge...in the hot sun...with people staring at you... That is definitively NOT the best way to go about cleaning them - no matter what a good idea it seems to be at the time.

How to Have the Perfect Life...

Sometimes God's plans go against what man thinks is "common sense." My ways are higher than your ways. That whole idea. And when we follow what God calls us to do, we get criticized. Even by those who understand that God calls for out of the ordinary.

My marrying Gary was one of them. In fact, my dating Gary was one of them, too. He was different from me. We were both strong Christians and seeking what the Lord had, but he was different. I laughed...all the time. And, well, he didnt. I was all smiles, carefree and fun. And he was serious. I was young and he was older. I hadnt ever dated anyone and he had. I was just entering college and he was graduated with a full time job and his masters in view. These differences made our decision to pursue a relationship seem unwise and careless to many.

When we first started dating, I had person after person give me what they thought were helpful comments. Everything from people he knew telling me what his struggles were, to telling me I would be wise to stay away, to telling me I need to be careful with this relationship... Everyone thought they knew him best. And decided to tell me so. But the more I got to know him, the less he resembled all those things people told me. He laughed and he made me laugh. He created fun and I had more fun when I was with him. He was out of the box and goofy and wild and hilarious... But none of those people knew him enough to see beyond his front. And so they told me how they saw him, how he "really" was.

It made dating so difficult for me. I had sleepless nights and lonely afternoons were I pondered what they had said and wondered what I was doing. But time and again, God's Spirit spoke to me, deep called unto deep. And I knew that I was supposed to be with him.

Then we broke up. And when I did, the comments I got were along the lines of, "I knew you two wouldnt last. Because I know him and I know you, and I just knew it wouldnt work." I was never sure how to take that or react to it. But still, I knew God had a plan for us. We got back together, got engaged, and tied the knot. All along the way, we were criticized. People told us horror stories of being married. They told us how different we were and how the road would be so hard for us. They told us everything you would never think your basic Christian community would tell you. And through it all, we prayed.

I think thats the only thing that kept me going. I heard the voice of God speaking loud and clear, and I had to make a solid decision that His voice was stronger than theirs. 

The road hasnt been easy. It hasnt been all cherries and rainbows. But I am more in love with Gary now than I have ever been. And I have more confidence every day that I am where God is calling me. Not many people can say that.

Despite the comments and the criticism, the stories and the "advice," I am in the perfect place. I have the perfect life. Because right now, this is the life God has created me to live. And as long as I follow His voice, I can truly say my life is perfect. Its perfect for me.

...

Lesson for today: Some people are so lost, and so hurting... Like George Sodini. It makes my heart break for not reaching outside myself more often.

Life Giving Power...

This is my first post in a long time. Almost a year, actually. Once I left Prison Fellowship and went back to school, there was little to write about. Sitting in classes and writing papers is significantly less exciting for me to write about than ministering to men and women in prison. But that's just me.

Since then, I've graduated, gotten married, and started a new job. Im part administrative assistant, part creative technology...person for my home church. I dont really have a title, so I tell it different every time someone asks.

So now that life has settled down a bit and I am in an environment where things happen that make me want to write - Im writing again.

One of the big things I have realized while being on a church staff is that people have a tendency to criticize. Myself included for sure. The first time that someone came into my office to criticize me (though Im sure they wouldnt use that word to describe what they were doing), I didnt know how to handle it. I dont have the toughest skin around. So I called my dad, pretty upset. And he told me a truth that I have thought of a lot since then: 

95% of people will think what you are doing is great, but they wont ever say a thing. 5% of people will disagree with what you are doing, and they will say something every time.

As Ive thought over this principle, I see how true it is. When I disagree with how someone does something, Im the first one to criticize. I rarely say it out loud, and to them, but I will think it. And...in confession...Ill tell my husband much of the time. But when I think someone is doing a great job, its almost as if I think, Theyve got it covered. No need to comment. Pretty backwards. Especially for a body of believers.

People need encouragement. They need it. And we are responsible for building them up by the words we choose to speak. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Words have life giving power. Life. Giving. Power. Get that?

Life.

Giving.

Power.

...

Lesson for Today: Delta Sonic deals with 4 million cars a year and spaghetti sauce bacteria can ruin a trunk. Or so I was told.