My marrying Gary was one of them. In fact, my dating Gary was one of them, too. He was different from me. We were both strong Christians and seeking what the Lord had, but he was different. I laughed...all the time. And, well, he didnt. I was all smiles, carefree and fun. And he was serious. I was young and he was older. I hadnt ever dated anyone and he had. I was just entering college and he was graduated with a full time job and his masters in view. These differences made our decision to pursue a relationship seem unwise and careless to many.
When we first started dating, I had person after person give me what they thought were helpful comments. Everything from people he knew telling me what his struggles were, to telling me I would be wise to stay away, to telling me I need to be careful with this relationship... Everyone thought they knew him best. And decided to tell me so. But the more I got to know him, the less he resembled all those things people told me. He laughed and he made me laugh. He created fun and I had more fun when I was with him. He was out of the box and goofy and wild and hilarious... But none of those people knew him enough to see beyond his front. And so they told me how they saw him, how he "really" was.
It made dating so difficult for me. I had sleepless nights and lonely afternoons were I pondered what they had said and wondered what I was doing. But time and again, God's Spirit spoke to me, deep called unto deep. And I knew that I was supposed to be with him.
Then we broke up. And when I did, the comments I got were along the lines of, "I knew you two wouldnt last. Because I know him and I know you, and I just knew it wouldnt work." I was never sure how to take that or react to it. But still, I knew God had a plan for us. We got back together, got engaged, and tied the knot. All along the way, we were criticized. People told us horror stories of being married. They told us how different we were and how the road would be so hard for us. They told us everything you would never think your basic Christian community would tell you. And through it all, we prayed.
I think thats the only thing that kept me going. I heard the voice of God speaking loud and clear, and I had to make a solid decision that His voice was stronger than theirs.
The road hasnt been easy. It hasnt been all cherries and rainbows. But I am more in love with Gary now than I have ever been. And I have more confidence every day that I am where God is calling me. Not many people can say that.
Despite the comments and the criticism, the stories and the "advice," I am in the perfect place. I have the perfect life. Because right now, this is the life God has created me to live. And as long as I follow His voice, I can truly say my life is perfect. Its perfect for me.
...
Lesson for today: Some people are so lost, and so hurting... Like George Sodini. It makes my heart break for not reaching outside myself more often.
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