Modern Love???

During work today, while researching for more information to add my already too long list on the Generation Y lifestyle, I came across an interesting article. USC senior Joel Walkowski wrote the essay entitled Let's Not Get to Know Each Other Better, which intrigued me enough to send me in search of more "modern love" articles.

Written for a New York Time's contest asking young adults what love means to them, 4 or so essays were published by Gen Y-ers across the country. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. Its not that it's that great of a topic - in fact, most were somewhat callous and harsh viewpoints on an incessantly overdone topic. But what caught me is that this is real life. Its a true lifestyle these people were writing about: hook up after hook up, casual relationships abounding, hearts hardening with each one.

In case you arent interested in reading the entire article by Walkowski, let me give you a quick taste:

This was a weird choice, as I’m not sure I know anyone who has ever had a real date. Most elect to hang out, hook up, or Skype long-distance relations. The idea of a date (asking in advance, spending rent money on dinner and dealing with the initial awkwardness) is far too concrete and unnecessary. As the adage goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Why pay for dinner if you can sit around watching TV? If you stay at home, you hardly even need to stand up, let alone put on a nice shirt....

A friend of mine, a normal girl who is neither especially social nor aloof, engages in hookups unabashedly — she’s just doing what she wants and doesn’t regret or overthink it. Except for one time when she woke up in some guy’s embrace, got out of bed and noticed his bookshelf. I’m not sure what it was about the contents that impressed or moved her; maybe the books suggested a gentle soul. All I know is what she told me: “I only felt bad after seeing his books.” The books had made him a real person, I guess, one she liked. Or pitied. Because then it was on to the next.

One of the other essays especially caught my attention. Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define, by Marguerite Fields, discusses her lack of success with past boyfriends, and, to put it simply, the losers she has dated. Try this one:

There was the guy who wore more makeup than I did, and the one who waxed his eyebrows clean off his face. And the one who slept with a guy when he was drunk, then with another when he was sober. (But he insisted he wasn’t gay, just curious, and since when was I so uptight anyway?)

The real kicker is how she ends the essay:

I tried to remember that I was actively seeking to practice some Zenlike form of nonattachment. I tried to remember that no one is my property and neither am I
theirs, and so I should just enjoy the time we spend together, because in the end it’s our collected experiences that add up to a rich and fulfilling life. I tried to tell myself that I’m young, that this is the time to be casual, careless, lighthearted and fun; don’t ruin it.

At the risk of sounding naive and out of touch with my own generation, I wont describe my surprise, or my amazement, or even my gratefulness I have a guy who, a. isnt like this, and b. keeps me from being like this. I guess instead of that, Ill just leave it with the following thought: I wonder how it got to this point, and why its tolerated as a real way of life, when there is so much better to be had. As for me, I think Id rather buy the cow to own, than to get the milk for free.

...

Lesson for Today: Im not one for blanket generalizations, but I think its safe to say that IT people as a whole can usually solve the Rubiks Cube in 4.5 minutes flat.