Paint Me a Birmingham...

I was in the car today, enjoying the great weather, and listening to country music. Spring is the season for country. I don't know why that's so, but every spring, I bust out all my country songs that have been hibernating through winter. On came Tracy Lawrence's "Paint Me a Birmingham." 

The song is the story of a guy coming upon a street painter who said he will paint any scene for $20. 

Could you paint me a Birmingham

Make it look just the way I planned

A little house on the edge of town

Porch going all the way around

Put her there in the front yard swing

Cotton dress, make it early spring

For a while she'll be mine again

If you can paint me a Birmingham

I was struck with the thought of how disappointing life can be. We have these grandiose plans that usually don't happen. And every failed dream leaves a bit of pain in our already fragile hearts. I find myself often living in the tension between dreaming big and being realistic. I believe we serve a God who created us to dream. But on the flip side, life doesn't happen the way we planned. Life lived in this fallen world isn't as He wants it to be, either.

Some of our dreams, like a white front porch on a perfectly placed house, slip away from us as life happens. Other dreams, like growing old with your best friend, sometimes have to be literally buried. It is the death of those dreams that feed my pessimistic side - why bother hoping when it will only bring disappointment?

But I guess the only answer that calms my confused heart is that God is still sovereign. In the middle of dying dreams, or the pain from letting go, God picks up the pieces and forms new dreams in our heart. We not only serve a God who is Hope, but we serve a God who is Healer. 

Too many of my buried dreams have left little bits of hurt and anger in my heart, and in need of healing. The only way to deal with the coming and going of life is to let our dreams reside in God. He is the One who can handle them, and the One who can reform them when life hits us hard.

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Lesson for Today: Mmmm, Cadbury Eggs. Another great thing about Spring.

Kindness and Repentance...

Yesterday, I lost my wallet. Actually, my wallet was stolen. It was quite the ordeal. Its easier to understand the story in a timeline, so here is what happened yesterday, though I didn't know all the details until last night.

12:50 - I pull into Walmart with my wallet in my purse. I grab my purse and walk into the store.

1:15 - Over $800 worth of purchases are made on my credit card as I'm shopping around.

1:20 - I get up to the cashier and realize I don't have my wallet.

1:20-2:45 - I search frantically through my car, the parking lot, and the Super Walmart store.

So here's what we think happen. Because the person remained in the same store to use my credit cards, and because they were able to put over $800 on the card in 25 minutes, they must have done this before. They knew what they were doing. I know my wallet was in my purse when I got out of the car. So either it fell out while I was getting out of the car, or I was pick-pocketed. My purse is big, it was unzipped, and the pouch with my wallet and gift cards was plainly visible. So its more than possible that is what happened.

Needless to say, I was a wreck. The Walmart shoppers and employees probably thought I was nuts as I  walked up and down the same aisles for an hour and a half searching. I asked the maintenance man if I could go through the garbage, which we did together. I asked customer service twice if it had been turned it, and then with tears, asked them if I could leave my granola bars there because I could no longer purchase them. It was a bad, bad day.

Once I found out the person took my wallet and used it while I was still in the store, I felt horrible. I felt violated that someone had personal information about me who shouldn't. And I felt naive for being surprised that someone would really do that.

But in God's grace, I also prayed that whoever had it would at least be blessed by it. I wondered if those prayers were wrong and stupid, but I prayed them nonetheless. I kept wondering, Would God really bless an act of stealing? But through all the thinking about it last night and this morning, I realized that God's kindness leads to repentance.

Now, my doctrine is far from perfect (who's isn't?), and I don't understand how God leads some to repentance through wrath and others through kindness. But I do know that He does both. I know that some hit rock bottom and look to God, while others meet God through circumstances of blessing. And if both are possible, then I am praying that God brings this person to Himself through His kindness. Because what other prayer is there now?

I'm not exactly sure why I'm writing all of this, except that its obviously been on my mind, and because its a reminder that God's kindness is so much more powerful than I give it credit sometimes.

I can't change a heart, only God can. But I can change how I react to situations like this, and how my attitude reflects the kindness I am praising God for.

As someone once said, "A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart and a washed out dream. They follow the pattern of the wind, ya see, cause they got no place to be. That's why I'm starting with me. Im starting with the man in the mirror. Im asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place then look at yourself and make a change."

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Lesson for Today: Slow internet is frustrating...

You Alone Can Rescue...

The worlds eyes are on Haiti right now. People want to know what is going on in that country, wondering what will happen next. Aftershocks have been occurring as people try to rebuild what they've lost.

There is so much pain in today's world. I don't even know a fraction of it.

You alone can rescue. You alone can save.

You alone can lift us from the grave.

You came down to find us, led us out of death.

To you alone belongs the highest praise.

You, O Lord, have made a way.

The great divide you heal.

For when our hearts were far away.

Your love went further still.

I am continually reminded that God is the only one who can do anything significant in this world. My humanitarian heart jumps at any chance I can to help people in desperate need. And yet, He alone can rescue. We have to join Him in His work if we want to make any kind of difference.

So I would ask you to pray for Pastor Steve, Gary and me as we go down to Haiti this week. Pray that we would join His work and tell His story.

Im sure I will have some interesting stories to write about when I get back...

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Lesson for Today: A small act like giving dinner on a busy week can mean the world...