the susurrus

creative risk...

2010-09-14T16:50:00.003-04:00

We are all creative. So many would disagree with that statement. Up until the last year, I would have as well. But I think one of the ways that God created us to be like Him is in the ability to create things, ideas, thoughts. Alex Osborn writes, "An analysis of almost all the psychological tests every made points to the conclusion that creative talent is normally distributed - that all of us possess this talent. The difference is only in degree; and that degree is largely influenced by effort."

That statement brought me freedom. I don't have to be as creative as the next person, I don't have to be ashamed of the arenas in which I may or may not be creative. I can stand on the idea that God has fashioned me with some element of His creativity.. But the thing is, it is up to me to use that creativity.

My job is to be creative. And there are so many times that I feel stuck within an idea, not sure how to crawl my way out of the box that only bad ideas reside in. But then I remember that God is the Creator of everything beautiful and wonderful. He is the one that gives us all the ideas we could ever need.

The danger is within labeling ourselves uncreative, finding comfort in safety and little risk. The thrill of creativity is taking a leap and landing somewhere you never thought you could take yourself to.

So, create. Lead. Risk. And see where you end up.

Paint Me a Birmingham...

2010-03-24T13:53:00.002-04:00

I was in the car today, enjoying the great weather, and listening to country music. Spring is the season for country. I don't know why that's so, but every spring, I bust out all my country songs that have been hibernating through winter. On came Tracy Lawrence's "Paint Me a Birmingham."

The song is the story of a guy coming upon a street painter who said he will paint any scene for $20.

Could you paint me a Birmingham

Make it look just the way I planned

A little house on the edge of town

Porch going all the way around

Put her there in the front yard swing

Cotton dress, make it early spring

For a while she'll be mine again

If you can paint me a Birmingham

I was struck with the thought of how disappointing life can be. We have these grandiose plans that usually don't happen. And every failed dream leaves a bit of pain in our already fragile hearts. I find myself often living in the tension between dreaming big and being realistic. I believe we serve a God who created us to dream. But on the flip side, life doesn't happen the way we planned. Life lived in this fallen world isn't as He wants it to be, either.

Some of our dreams, like a white front porch on a perfectly placed house, slip away from us as life happens. Other dreams, like growing old with your best friend, sometimes have to be literally buried. It is the death of those dreams that feed my pessimistic side - why bother hoping when it will only bring disappointment?

But I guess the only answer that calms my confused heart is that God is still sovereign. In the middle of dying dreams, or the pain from letting go, God picks up the pieces and forms new dreams in our heart. We not only serve a God who is Hope, but we serve a God who is Healer.

Too many of my buried dreams have left little bits of hurt and anger in my heart, and in need of healing. The only way to deal with the coming and going of life is to let our dreams reside in God. He is the One who can handle them, and the One who can reform them when life hits us hard.

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Lesson for Today: Mmmm, Cadbury Eggs. Another great thing about Spring.

Kindness and Repentance...

2010-03-04T14:42:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, I lost my wallet. Actually, my wallet was stolen. It was quite the ordeal. Its easier to understand the story in a timeline, so here is what happened yesterday, though I didn't know all the details until last night.

12:50 - I pull into Walmart with my wallet in my purse. I grab my purse and walk into the store.

1:15 - Over $800 worth of purchases are made on my credit card as I'm shopping around.

1:20 - I get up to the cashier and realize I don't have my wallet.

1:20-2:45 - I search frantically through my car, the parking lot, and the Super Walmart store.

So here's what we think happen. Because the person remained in the same store to use my credit cards, and because they were able to put over $800 on the card in 25 minutes, they must have done this before. They knew what they were doing. I know my wallet was in my purse when I got out of the car. So either it fell out while I was getting out of the car, or I was pick-pocketed. My purse is big, it was unzipped, and the pouch with my wallet and gift cards was plainly visible. So its more than possible that is what happened.

Needless to say, I was a wreck. The Walmart shoppers and employees probably thought I was nuts as I walked up and down the same aisles for an hour and a half searching. I asked the maintenance man if I could go through the garbage, which we did together. I asked customer service twice if it had been turned it, and then with tears, asked them if I could leave my granola bars there because I could no longer purchase them. It was a bad, bad day.

Once I found out the person took my wallet and used it while I was still in the store, I felt horrible. I felt violated that someone had personal information about me who shouldn't. And I felt naive for being surprised that someone would really do that.

But in God's grace, I also prayed that whoever had it would at least be blessed by it. I wondered if those prayers were wrong and stupid, but I prayed them nonetheless. I kept wondering, Would God really bless an act of stealing? But through all the thinking about it last night and this morning, I realized that God's kindness leads to repentance.

Now, my doctrine is far from perfect (who's isn't?), and I don't understand how God leads some to repentance through wrath and others through kindness. But I do know that He does both. I know that some hit rock bottom and look to God, while others meet God through circumstances of blessing. And if both are possible, then I am praying that God brings this person to Himself through His kindness. Because what other prayer is there now?

I'm not exactly sure why I'm writing all of this, except that its obviously been on my mind, and because its a reminder that God's kindness is so much more powerful than I give it credit sometimes.

I can't change a heart, only God can. But I can change how I react to situations like this, and how my attitude reflects the kindness I am praising God for.

As someone once said, "A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart and a washed out dream. They follow the pattern of the wind, ya see, cause they got no place to be. That's why I'm starting with me. Im starting with the man in the mirror. Im asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place then look at yourself and make a change."

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Lesson for Today: Slow internet is frustrating...

You Alone Can Rescue...

2010-03-01T15:08:00.004-05:00

The worlds eyes are on Haiti right now. People want to know what is going on in that country, wondering what will happen next. Aftershocks have been occurring as people try to rebuild what they've lost.

There is so much pain in today's world. I don't even know a fraction of it.

You alone can rescue. You alone can save.

You alone can lift us from the grave.

You came down to find us, led us out of death.

To you alone belongs the highest praise.

You, O Lord, have made a way.

The great divide you heal.

For when our hearts were far away.

Your love went further still.

I am continually reminded that God is the only one who can do anything significant in this world. My humanitarian heart jumps at any chance I can to help people in desperate need. And yet, He alone can rescue. We have to join Him in His work if we want to make any kind of difference.

So I would ask you to pray for Pastor Steve, Gary and me as we go down to Haiti this week. Pray that we would join His work and tell His story.

Im sure I will have some interesting stories to write about when I get back...

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Lesson for Today: A small act like giving dinner on a busy week can mean the world...

Integrity and Apologies...

2010-02-19T14:59:00.003-05:00

Big news today. Tiger's apology.

I am a huge Tiger fan. Gary very much appreciates the fact that I am because I will actually watch golf with him when Tiger's involved. When everything happened last November, I was pretty bummed. I really respected him for the incredible golfer he is, and the family man he seemed to be.

But his apology today was big. "It's now up to me to start living a life of integrity." Heartfelt, seemingly genuine, his 14+ minute apology was as stand up as he is on the course. I can't determine whether it was genuine. I can't say for sure it was his apology and not just great PR writing. But I can't say it wasn't, either.

I will say, though, that as far as celebrity apologies go, this one was impacting. I can't imagine how his wife has felt through all of this. And I can't make excuses for Tiger. But today definitely helped from where I'm standing.

Does he owe me anything? No. But I believe he owes the kids who look up to him something. And he owes his family something.

He repeatedly admitted that it was all his fault, taking full responsibility. A far cry from Letterman's recent apology. He cleared his wife's name and stood up for her vehemently. He admitted he needs help and has a long way to go, though he has "taken the first steps" toward healing. "I am the one who needs to change." He then leaned into Buddhism, which he says "teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint."

Celebrity apologies have made me think lately about my own need for repentance. They serve as a reminder to me how God's heart desires "mercy not sacrifice, and acknowledgement of God rather than burnt offerings." (Hos. 6.6) Repentance is always better than trying to make it up or cover it over.

I feel sorry for him. Not in a pity kind of way. He doesn't need my pity. But I feel sorry in a sincere, Im bummed for him kind of way. I feel worse for his wife. But whether he followed apology etiquette or not (seriously, apology etiquette? how about just truly repenting?), it was a good move for him. And I hope true and honest healing can come to him and his family.

Also, his golf skills really do astound me. And golf isn't playing in our house until he's back.

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Lesson for Today: Eldrick Tont... Who would've guessed that was the real name behind "Tiger"?

Noise vs. Sound...

2010-02-17T10:24:00.005-05:00

Sitting in my office this morning, I am thinking about the world of noise in which we live. Noise is all around us - a fact that is most often, but not always, lost on us. I sat here doing work for a couple hours and then, in a moment of pause, I realized how much noise was happening. Constant, unchanging notes coming from the sanctuary as the piano tuner did his thing. Thumping coming from upstairs, staying with the beat of the music I could hear playing through the ceiling. The hum of the water fountain and the copier, rising and slowing. The occasional sound of feet walking around. Mighty to Save playing through my own speakers... All of it joining together to create noise.

But each sound has its own source, its own reason for "sounding." It just takes listening to filter through the "noise" to identify each unique "sound." I think of how hearing God is so much of the same. Noise is all around us. The noise of busy lives, distractions, and self get in the way of hearing that one unique sound we are all searching for - God's voice.

The thing about us as humans is that we become desensitized pretty well, and pretty quickly. Noise surrounds us but, for the most part, we don't even realize it is happening. It is when we find one sound above the rest grabbing our attention that we finally realize.

If we only took time each day to listen, really listen. If we only allowed our hearts to more readily be "grabbed" by that one sound we are desperate to hear. We then could separate that sound from the rest of the noise and live in a way that reflects his heart beat. All because we have heard his voice.

"...that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life..." Deuteronomy 30.20

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Lesson for Today: A "normal" day is one of those simple joys in life, I think.

This is the Church...

2010-02-10T22:39:00.004-05:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about this one moment that has been ingrained in my mind. Im not sure why I keep coming back to it, other than God trying to tell me something. Im pretty certain that I've already blogged about it, but I cant find the post. So, at the risk of repeating myself, here is the moment told (again?):

I was in Mexico. We were attending church, worshipping with well known songs, singing in Spanish. During the worship time, there were easels on the sides of the stage with paint, pencils, markers, and other art supplies for people to go up and create if God put something on their heart. I watched as one guy headed up there and drew until worship was complete and the pastor was making his way up to the pulpit. I couldn't tell what it was because I was too far, but I found myself staring at it during the service, wanting to know what picture God had spoken.

After the service, I went up and saw the picture. I talked to the guy and his explanation was simply, "This is the Church." The picture was of a man sitting on the floor in a prison cell. Above his head were shackles that had been opened. A shaft of light was coming in from his window shining on him, his cell door open. But he was just laying there. And he even looked comfortable.

"This is the Church." Its a picture of the Church we don't often see, but a picture I will never forget. How often do we find ourselves still sitting in bondage, even though in Christ our shackles have been removed and our door open? Even though Christ has set us free, we have to get up and move out that door. It is our responsibility to put one foot in front of the other. Too often, we let the world defeat us even though we are on the winning side. Too often, we find it more comfortable to sit within our own failures and sin. Too often, we deny the power of Christ by occupying our cell when he has given us access to the free world. I know I am guilty of it.

May we grab hold of the freedom that Christ has given us through his death and resurrection. May we never find ourselves willfully sitting confined when God has called us to the mountaintops with him. May we never turn back. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5.1.

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Lesson for Today: What is an "original copy"? We still can't figure it out.

The Unexpected Messiah...

2010-02-04T12:20:00.005-05:00

I am struck today by the glory and majesty of Christ. I have recently been studying the beliefs of first century Jews. They had ideas about the Messiah that were so far from who Jesus was. Obviously, Jewish expectation of the Messiah varied largely from group to group. But none of them were expecting the Messiah to look and act like Jesus. Nor were they expecting the Kingdom of God to roll in the way that it did. As Christians, we know this. We know Jesus was different from what they thought, or they wouldn't have crucified him. But when you study the specifics of what they really thought it would all look like, you see how Jesus must have been such a disappointment to them.

And yet, Jesus was the Messiah, the Branch, the Son of Man. He was the Suffering Servant that no one expected would be the same man as the Messiah. How could the One who came to wipe Israel's enemies away, to redeem His chosen nation, to bring the Kingdom of God to earth be the same man that would be rejected and suffer for the sins of many? It was outside the realm of possibility for the average Jew. But here comes Jesus, Son of Man, Son of God, King of all. He comes and brings in a new Law, a new Covenant, and doesn't touch the hair on a single Roman soldier.

Looking back, it makes sense. We can see how Jesus brought in the Kingdom even if he didn't do it politically or socially. But for them, it was inconceivable. And it makes me wonder, what expectations do I have for Jesus that do not parallel the reality of who He is? Am I waiting on something that, when it does not happen, I will look upon the King of Kings with disappointment? God, may it never be. I pray that I have looked upon His face enough to have set all my expectations unconditionally on Him for who He is. But I fail too often. I look to what He does over who He is more than I'd like to admit.

So today I am reminded that it is never about me, or my ideas of how things should go down. It is forever and always about the majesty of Christ, bringing glory to Him as He is lifted up for all nations to see and to worship. Even, or especially, when He goes outside my preconceived notions.

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Lesson for Today: Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.

Controversial Curiosity

2010-02-01T15:35:00.010-05:00

Johnny has been recommending Tribes, by Seth Godin, for some time now. After reading it, I get why.

Here is one section of the book that caused a good bit of conversation between Gary and I. I may be controversial in what I think about this, but what do you think? Here is what Godin writes:

A fundamentalist is a person who considers whether a fact is acceptable to his religion before he explores it. As opposed to a curious person who explores first and then considers whether or not he wants to accept the ramifications. A curious person embraces the tension between his religion and something new, wrestles with it and through it, and then decides whether to embrace the new idea or reject it.

Once recognized, the quiet yet persistent voice of curiosity doesn't go away. Ever. And perhaps it's such curiosity that will lead us to distinguish our own greatness from the mediocrity that stares us in the face.

We might like to think that fundamentalism is the better way to live our Christian lives. You may not admit it right away because the word "fundamentalism" holds a strongly negative connotation in our world today. But when you think of fundamentalism in contrast with curiosity, most Christians today would say we should be rigidly firm in our beliefs, our doctrine, our theology.

But did Christ affirm the fundamentalists, or the curious? I submit he took more pleasure in his curious followers. Fundamentalists stood back and determined if Christ fit into their interpretation of the Law. We see time and again that He did not. But curious people ran after Him and listened to His words. Once they knew enough, they made a decision to either "accept the ramifications" and change their lives, or walk away. They checked it out before making a decision. And those who decided to follow Him did so, not because He fit into their worldview, but because they changed their worldview to revolve around the words and life of Christ.

There is an obvious caution line here when it comes to "checking things out." I am not saying we should be open to ideas that contradict the Bible or lead us down a slippery slope, all in the name of "seeking Christ." But what I am saying is that we too often say an interpretation of Scripture that is different from ours is wrong, end of story. Or we look at someone and say they aren't serving God because they serve in a different way than we do. Or we push against someone when they don't follow our own convictions we superimpose upon them.

But why are we so afraid to run after something that could be Christ, and instead denounce it as untrue? Are we so prideful that we think we know God that well? We think we can label someone after a only moment of listening, determining they speak no amount of truth? God is bigger than the boxes we put Him in. And I think His heart is more pleased with those who curiously seek Him than those who rigidly stick to their fundamentalist beliefs.

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Lesson for Today: The counter really changes things... I understand now.

Incarnational Apologetics...

2010-01-27T14:33:00.004-05:00

Classes have started and I am knee deep in homework. Stressful as it is some nights, I love it. I am reading books that I wouldn't be reading if it weren't for these classes, and definitely learning things I wouldn't be learning on my own.

For my Contemporary Evangelism class, I just read an article by the professor on the topic of Incarnational Apologetics. A fancy way of saying, "Walk your talk." In a class centered on the topic of evangelism, we can too often get caught up in what method to use in sharing the Gospel, what questions to ask to bring the conversation around to spiritual things, what verses to use, etc. Evangelism can get so one-sided and off balance... very quickly.

But the article was just a great reminder to have our life in order as we are trying to share the Gospel. In this day and age, people could care less about what you say unless they already have a foundational respect for you and how you live your life.

Jesus talked. And he walked. Who are we to accept any less for our own lives?

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Lesson for Today: Missing the Texas Stickls already...

Vision, Paradigms, and Other Thoughts...

2010-01-20T09:28:00.004-05:00

This past week I have been doing some reading on urban ministry, community development, etc. One of the articles I found pertinent and timely was "Community & Reconciliation" by David S. Apple, founder of Reconcilers Fellowship.

In the midst of talking about community development within urban settings, he had some very solid leadership and vision principles. And I thought they were worth sharing:

In Christian community building, the gospel map guides us and the love of God persuades us. And vision makes it possible. Vision is the basic building block which inspires creativity to what is possible. Vision catches the spirit. The role of leadership is to hold forth the vision and purpose of the full human potential. A leader with vision regards the welfare of others. S/he models Christ so others may follow. The leaders knows where s/he is going - prayerfully seeking God's will for direction. The leaders build on people without climbing over them. The leader initiates, proclaiming, "Do you see what I see!" Above all, the leader is proactive and innovative. S/he does not let the words, "We never did it that way before," discourage community building and growth. The leader encourages new ways of thinking and action.

In his book Paradigms, Joel Arthur Barker states that "we need a leader who innovates, has a long range perspective (with an eye on the horizon) and challenges the status quo. This person needs to be a good manager of people and a visionary."

What is a paradigm? It is the collective consciousness, that is, the grid which people view their world. Adam Smith in Powers of the Mind states, "A paradigm is a shared set of assumptions. It is the way we perceive the world. When we are in the middle of the paradigm it is hard to imagine any other paradigm...." It is a psychological filter, a set of rules of thought which do not change. Barker calls this paradigm paralysis or hardening of the categories....

The opposite of paradigm paralysis is paradigm pliancy. It is the purposeful seeking out of new ways of doing things.... It is learning to speak and hear a new language. It is made possible by the transformation of attitudes....

The leader who will bring a paradigm shift or enhancement is one who is a catalyst or pioneer... who will take a risk.

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Lesson for Today: The history and time period of intertestamental Judaism is actually much more interesting than it sounds...

The Author of Life...

2010-01-07T17:44:00.009-05:00

Most anyone who knows me knows my love for books. Any kind of books. Classics. Mysteries. Historical. Inspirational. How-to manuals. Pretty much anything. I could sit in a room by myself for days with a couple of good books and be as content as anything.

As I work my way through stories, I often take a mental step backward and assess my connection with the story, my reaction to what is happening. It sounds much nerdier written out than when I actually do it. But one of the fundamental purposes of books, and the written word in general, is to extend influence, spread ideas, and allow others to react to philosophic principles. So Im not that weird for assessing it (or so I tell myself).

And I have found that applying this principle to life is a powerful way of regaining perspective. As I go through trials or circumstances that I just cant see a resolution to, I can find peace when I back up to analyze my reaction and assess the story.

Here is an example to better explain what I am saying. When I read a fictional story in which the main character has just lost his wife to illness, I dont stop my whole life to grieve. Part of it is because the story is fictional. Part of it is because I dont have a real relationship with the fictional character. But much of it is because I know resolution is coming. I dont throw the book down and get mad at the author. I dont swear off his books because it was so unfair that the wife died. I just keep reading. I know the next chapter will bring change, and so will the chapter after that. And I trust that by the end of the book, there will be resolution, even if the main character can't see it yet.

When I view my life as a story, all of the sudden, hard situations suddenly become easier to walk through. I think, If my life were written in a book, the reader might think this situation is unfair and is really bad. But they'd think if I could just hold on, I'll find resolution a page, a chapter, or a book away. And honestly, it helps. It helps because I remember then that the Author of my story is One in whom I can trust with my story.

Let faith arise, oh Lord, let faith arise

In the deepest parts of my being, oh Lord

In the most broken parts of me, oh Lord

I say no to the discouragement that keeps me down

I say no to the things that keep me back from You

And this broken heart inside of me

Broken in so many pieces

By so many circumstances

I say no to just letting it stay that way

Because Im learning to believe that its not You that hurt me

Im learning to believe that its not You that deserted me

Im believing that You still love me, brokenness and all

Im believing that Youve got a plan for me

Im believing that You will restore me

I believe that You will awaken my soul

And Im rejoicing in the fact that the Bible says

That You are my Victorious Warrior

(Jason Upton, "Faith")

Paul refers to Jesus as the Author of life (Acts 3.15). He is writing our story every minute of every day. He writes things in we might have never allowed had we been writing our own story. But he is the Author, and so we accept what each page brings.

We have to have enough confidence in the Author to just keep reading.

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Lesson for Today: If you ever catch a multi-hundred pound blue tuna, sell it in Japan for some serious bucks.

Contented Expectancy, Part 2 (We serve a Big God)...

2010-01-05T16:39:00.003-05:00

Here are some more thoughts on contented expectancy.

Our God is a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine. All we could ask or imagine. That means the thing you asked God to do in your life just this morning - He can do it. That situation for which God gave you a spark of hope to hold on to - He can make it reality. That thought lodged so far back in your mind that you are afraid to let any closer for fear of disappointment if it doesn't come true - He can make it better than you're nervous to imagine. And that dream that is held in my heart, that few else know.. That, "Oh, if only it were true," kind of dream - He smiles about the ease at which He could blink and make it come forth.

Does it mean He will? Not always. But the clincher is this: If He has said it, He will do it. Period. End of conversation.

I don't need to worry about God coming through on my dream when I know it was His spoken word in my life that put that dream there in the first place. He may not do it on my timeline, but I cannot let go of what He told me to hold on to. I cannot make excuses for God: "Maybe He'll come through in another way, maybe I heard Him wrong, maybe He actually meant something else entirely..." No. He is big enough and strong enough to defend Himself. My job is to stand on the belief that God Himself is Truth. And it shall come to pass.

Contented expectancy is a place of tension and waiting. It is a place of being calm amidst the situation, while knowing God will come through. It is a place where God can do His best work if I will simply abandon myself in hope. Hope in him. Not hope in the situation, or hope in the dream. But hope in him.

Like Paul, we must learn the secret of being content in any and every situation (Philippians 4.12). The secret being Him who gives me strength to do all things - like waiting in the tension of a contented expectancy. Content where He has placed us. Content with what He has given us. Content with who He has called us to be.

But content never means comfortable or settling for less than best. It's not sitting in the fire of a situation and trying to acclimate to the flames burning our skin. It's sitting in that fire, crying out to God with an intensity, a humility, and a waiting heart. It's knowing in the midst of the burn that God is forever our Rescuer. Knowing that He is with us in the fire and will turn it all for good. It is knowing that He is God and that's enough.

Be content in every situation. And expect Him to move mountains in every one.

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Lessons for Today: Focus is all about the mission.

Contented Expectancy...

2010-01-04T16:29:00.003-05:00

Last week, as I was asking God some questions and waiting for the answers (which I am still waiting for, but I think thats His point...), He laid this term on my mind: contented expectancy. Im not sure if its even grammatically correct, but if God says it, what is grammar to disagree?

What does contented expectancy mean to you? A pregnant woman relaxing in a freshly painted nursery? A teacher watching his full-of-potential student try a problem one more time? An elderly widow looking at a picture of her late husband?

We understand content. And we understand expectant. But do we understand how they fit together? Maybe if I truly lived what I understood content to mean, and if I acted in a way that paralleled expectancy, then contented expectancy wouldn't be such a hard term for me to wrap my mind around.

As I continue to seek how I am to live this life with contented expectancy, I will keep you posted.

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Lesson for Today: I've missed this kind of snow...

what it is to know his supremacy...

2009-12-30T14:33:00.004-05:00

Let us press on to know the supremacy of Christ. In the midst of all hurt, all pain, all struggle... let us know his supremacy.

"There is not one square inch of the entire creation about which Jesus Christ does not cry out, 'This is mine! This belongs to me.'" Abraham Kuyper

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Lesson for Today: Don't ever count anything out. People will surprise you.

We're in a war, ya'll...

2009-12-09T18:59:00.004-05:00

So many thoughts today. All trying to converge into one post...

Last night, I had a really low tire. So we went and filled it up. Today, I was going to the Falls to run some errands. I got on the 190, and as I was getting up to speed, I found myself being very cautious and in tune with how my car was driving. I still wasn't sure if my tire had a significant leak in it, or if it just needed some extra air. With all the tire problems I've had with this car, I had no confidence in it. Hence, the slow driving. I thought about the times when I have confidence in my car. I get on the 190 and get up to speed as fast as possible. I hit the speed limit and keep going. But not today. Because I lacked confidence.

It was a simple moment, nothing the average car driver hasnt experienced. But in that thought, God revealed a truth to my heart. How often do you approach life timidly and at a slow pace because you have no confidence in Me? It hit me like a ton of bricks. Things I am facing in my life right now, I find myself walking cautiously and fearfully because I dont want to dive in until I know that its safe. But if I had confidence in the God of the Universe, what would stop me from going ahead, full speed? I thought of Perry Noble's message on the victory we have in Christ. Once Jesus rose again, God did not call us to go win the war. He already won. He simply called us to RUN UP THE SCORE. We've won. What's keeping us from running a risky play when were up 100 to none?

As I came home and thought about it, I put on Tye Tribbet's song, "Stand Out." Listen to it, and read the lyrics. Let it raise up the warrior in you. We've won. Go after every opportunity and every situation with a confidence that shows your side has got the victory.

Sound the alarm!!

When the enemy comes in like a flood

The Spirit of the Lord will raise up a standard against him.

I see the enemy coming in like a flood

in our houses, in our churches, in our families.

But what I dont see is the standard. People of God,

where's the standard at?

We in a war ya'll. Its time to stand Out!

Its about to go down. The battle has begun.

Its time for you to choose, whose side you gonna be on.

The devil is recruiting, temptin every man.

But he's already defeated, all we have to do is stand.

No time for mixing light with the darkness.

Be black or be white, no more shades of grey.

Be separated, be holy, no matter what you do, dont bow.

And even if you stand alone, stand anyhow.

Rise up!

Rise up people, put on your strength.

There's a war going on and we will win.

Stand up and fight, let the kingdom prevail.

With power and might, we will stand out.

Stand out! Be not conformed to this world.

Stand out! Be transformed, renew your mind.

Stand out! Just like the three Hebrew boys.

Stand out!

God is playin it cool, dont wanna rub nobody the wrong way.

Almost like were trying to fit in. Acting like we dont know the name.

Its time for us to stand out and go against the grain.

Forget tryin to be down, let the world know youve been changed.

How you gonna be the praise leader? But you listen to R & B?

And hip hop is on your ringtone? Im trynna tell you God aint pleased.

And since when did it become cool for you to live together unmarried?

Men with men?

Women with women?

Im tellin you God aint gon have it.

Its time to recognize.

The war its in disguise.

No time for compromise.

Wake up, open your eyes.

The devil is a lie.

You must be hot or cold.

You cant blend in the crowd.

Its time for God's people to

Stand Out!

LET ME HEAR YOUR WAR CRY!

Little bit louder.

One more time!

We in a war people of God.

You don't have to fight, all you gotta do is stand.

Make some noise.

Having done all to stand...

Now stand people of God!

The way we approach life is directly correlated with our confidence in our Maker and Saviour.

...

Lesson for Today: A reminder today that the small fact of living in a country where I speak the language is an incredible blessing.

Everyone has a Story...

2009-12-02T19:20:00.005-05:00

"On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God: 'Why did you permit this? Why don't you do something about it?' For a while God said nothing. That night he replied, quite suddenly: 'I certainly did something about it. I made you.'"

I once heard a story about a homeless man on Hollywood Blvd who really thought he was invisible. But one day a kid handed the man a Christian pamphlet. The homeless guy was shocked and amazed, “what! You can see me? How can you see me? I’m invisible!”

It isn’t hard to comprehend this man’s slow spiral into invisibility. Once on the street, people started to walk past him, ignoring him as if he didn’t exist… much like they do a piece of trash on the sidewalk. It’s not that people are bad, but if we make eye contact, or engage in conversation, then we have to admit they exist and that we might have a basic human need to care. But it’s so much easier to simply close our eyes and shield our hearts to their existence.

I not only feel their pain, I truly know their pain. I lived their pain. You’d never know it now but I was a homeless person. Fourteen years ago, I lived on Hollywood Blvd. But today, I find myself looking away, ignoring the faces, avoiding their eyes — and I’m ashamed when I realize I’m doing it. But I really can feel their pain, and it is almost unbearable, but it’s just under the surface of my professional exterior.

The invisible guy didn’t intend to become homeless. I didn’t plan on living on the street. Everyone on the streets has their own story, some made bad decisions, others were victims, but none of them deserve what they have been left with, and it is a reflection of our own society that we just leave them there.

Mark Horvath is a man on a mission. He came from a place of homelessness and then went back to document the stories of homeless men, women and children all around the country. The stories he has found break my heart.

I wonder, if it weren't for him, would these people have had the opportunity to ever tell their story? Would the cold of the coming December nights or the burn of a hungry stomach take them before they could ever share? Some are homeless because of something they did. Many are homeless because of something that happened to them. Do we care? Or do we treat them like they are invisible?

If we truly serve a God of mercy and forgiveness, then may our hearts begin to break in a new way for those who need someone to come along and be their miracle.

...

Lesson for Today: Old friends, new joys.

What kind of love?

2009-11-20T16:26:00.003-05:00

I was watching one of mine and Jaim's favorite chick-flicks last night.. One of the best things about movies is that, depending on what is happening in your life, you pick up completely different things when you watch it multiple times.

Anyway, I was watching a scene in the climax of the movie, at which point the boy who is in love with the girl has lost her to another guy. In a conversation with someone, he is asked, "Well, what kind of love it is? Is it love, big love, or great love?" Not understanding the difference, it is explained, "Love you get over in two months. Big love you get over in two years. And great love... Well, great love changes your life."

While it can be argued that the first two might not be true love, the point stands. Great love changes your life.

As I sat there watching, my mind drifted to real life. My love for Gary has absolutely changed my life. I find myself still sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for his call, trying to get dinner ready so the moment he walks in from his day he can relax, hating every morning when he gets up and leaves for work. My life is far from what it was before Gary.

And then I thought about my love for God. Has it changed my life? Is my love for him something that I can easily forget and discard? Or is it something that wakes me up every morning to meet with him, that keeps me anxiously awaiting his voice, that will lead me into the darkest pit, simply because I know it is there he wants me to be? What kind of love is the love I have for Jesus?

In that simple moment of a chick-flick drama, I was challenged on my love for my Saviour. It has changed my life. But I pray it never stops changing me. Because it is then that I have lost out on the fullness of the greatest love I could ever find.

...

Lesson for Today: Oprah is on her way out after 25 years... Wow.

On Your Mark, Priscilla...

2009-11-18T14:20:00.002-05:00

Back to a Catalyst overview... Priscilla Shirer (daughter of Dr. Tony Evans who is definitely worth looking up and listening to) was the next speaker. A dynamic Bible teacher, Priscilla challenged us through the life of Joshua. From Joshua 3-5, she observed four characteristics of a strong leader:

1. Acting immediately in response to God
2. Acting fearlessly
3. Acknowledging the Presence of God
4. Anticipating God's miracles

Each one of those is a life lesson in itself, let alone trying to implement all four at once. But then, Joshua had years of watching Moses act those out before he was given the chance to demonstrate those traits in leadership.

Can you imagine if all the leaders of our church worked at those four things? To act in response to God, and to act immediately and fearlessly. To acknowledge Who God is as we act, and His sovereignty over the situation. And to anticipate that He is going to work in a mighty, supernatural way. Think of a single situation in which all of us in some sort of leadership within our church were to act out those four. We would be an unstoppable force through which God would transform this community in a way we could only dream of.

We pray so hard and so long that God would work in this church and this community. Maybe He is just waiting for all of us to be the leaders He wants us to be - to act immediately and fearlessly, knowing He is in control, and expecting the miraculous - before He pours out His Spirit like a mighty flood over this Island and surrounding communities. Maybe we need to stop waiting for Him to be ready, and realize He is waiting for US to be ready.

...

Lesson for Today: I got 6 high fives today... It was a good day.

He is calling us out...

2009-11-16T11:50:00.003-05:00

The church is HIS Church. Forgive us, Lord, for ever thinking differently.

...

Lesson for Today: Welcome to Moe's! And soon to come: Welcome to Chipotle.

Want to Help?...

2009-11-11T16:44:00.003-05:00

On Monday, we got a call from Pastor Eric of the Buffalo Dream Center. Every year, the BDC does Boxes of Love, a program that distributes food and toys to over 4,000 families in Buffalo. The toys and food are donated. Monday morning, he gets a call from Indiana, where a big bulk of their food donations for this program comes from. "We are so sorry - we won't be able to give you the food for Boxes of Love this year." Disappointed, but knowing God would pull through, Pastor Eric hung up. Later that morning, he gets a call saying over 8 tractor trailer-full loads of food are coming his way!

You see, Extreme Makeover Home Edition is in Buffalo this week. And every city they go into, they bring food to distribute to the charities within that area. Through a set of circumstances, the food is all going to the BDC (to be organized and then distributed) because no one else had the space to store all of that food.

A few weeks ago, while having dinner with Pastor Eric and his wife, Michelle, he told us that he had warehouse space for Boxes of Love already. "Its so out of the ordinary. Every year, it comes down to the 11th hour before we find someone to donate warehouse space... I know something is coming because getting warehouse space this early is far from normal." Well, now he knows why.

Not only did one tractor trailer-full of food back out just in time for over 8 to come in, but he had more warehouse space than any previous year, earlier than any previous year. All because God knew they would need it to store the food in. The food that is needed for Boxes of Love will be distributed, and the rest will be given to charities all through the city.

This cant be done without help, though. Not only do they have to move all that food into the warehouse, but each tractor trailer is a hodge-podge of items. So it needs to be separated and organized. On top of that, they need volunteers to pack the bags for Boxes of Love.

If you want to be a part of this awesome opportunity, leave a comment or email me (jess.asbach@yahoo.com). I cant stress enough that, not only does the BDC NEED volunteers to make this happen, but you will be blessed beyond belief by being a part of this. Here is your chance to feed the poor as God calls us to do over and over again in His Word.

If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land the the LORD your God is giving you... give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. Deuteronomy 15

God is all over this situation. To distribute food, toys, and joy in the Name of His Son is something He's all about. And He pulled through big time. Thats the God we serve.

...

Lesson for Today: No lesson. Other than God really is awesome. :)

Calvin...

2009-11-08T19:01:00.003-05:00

This past Friday, we were in Richmond looking for the location of Bottom's Up, a mom and pop pizza place. While driving around the city, we saw a homeless man on the side of the street, holding a sign, asking for money. We were stopped at a red light and as I continued to watch him, my heart broke for him. I wished I had a McDonald's gift card, or something else useful, to give to him. But the light turned green and my window of opportunity to help him closed.

We finally found Bottom's Up and learned that a table for five would be a 45 minute wait. So we put our name down and decided to wander the city in the meantime. As we did, we found ourselves unintentionally back on the street where this man had been standing. My heart silently rejoiced as I saw God opening our window once again. We walked up to him, handed him some dollars, and asked if we could pray for him. Looking a mix of grateful and slightly confused, he readily agreed. "Calvin, my name's Calvin," he told us when we asked. So we stood there and prayed with, and over, Calvin.

We left him with a "God bless you" and some extra money in his pocket - but my heart still felt heavy. Feeling like we had simply thrown money at a problem, I knew we needed to do something more. So we decided we should go back and invite Calvin to dinner. This way, we could not only feed him, but build a bit of a relationship with him. So we wandered back and asked Calvin to dinner. But he declined. "I just had some McDonald's and Im full now. Thanks though." After pressing if he was sure, we left Calvin to stand there with his sign and went on our way.

Two things impressed on my heart from our interaction with Calvin. First, in order to meet a need, it is imperative to know what the need is. Deep, huh? But so often we act on perceived needs, the needs we assume someone has. However, meeting a perceived need rather than an actual need doesnt help that person any. In trying to help Calvin, I wanted to meet his need for food, when in fact, that was only what I perceived his need to be. And in doing so, I didnt meet his actual needs. I still believe we did what God asked us to do. And there is no regret in that. But when serving others, we need to be focused on finding out what the need is; we cant be concerned with simply meeting a need. This is why partnering with inner city ministries is vital.

The second thing I walked away from Calvin with is that ministry is everywhere. Sometimes we have this idea that we have to be set up in the right circumstances and take months of preparation to participate in outreach or serving ministry. But its all around you. Its in the person who sits next to you at work. Its in the neighbor on his driveway three doors down. Its in a homeless man on the street when you are on vacation. Dont think ministry is something you always have to go find. Its all around you. And understanding that will change the way we "be the Church."

...

Lesson for Today: Mice like peanut butter. It works, oh, so well.

You are the Light of the World...

2009-11-04T11:33:00.003-05:00

This week, Im on vacation. And Ive been reminded of a few things. First, Lucky Charms are as good as I remember them to be. And two large bowls for breakfast is never enough. Second, Walmart is universal. And third, I am blessed to live in Buffalo where the cold weather comes by the beginning of October.

But aside from those, I have also been thinking a lot about outreach and service while down here. And how much my generation loves to fight for social justice and help the poor. Its in. Its trendy. Its what we enjoy to do.

But serving others isnt enough. So many in my generation go out and help the poor once a week or find a project to help with every month, and walk away from completing a good deed to feel satisfied and fulfilled. Its almost as if, in a prideful way, we say, "Im so great for having helped that poor guy who couldnt have done it himself." This isnt what Christ has called us to.

He has called us to a holy life. All of our life must be set apart, not just the one hour a week we give to the needy. Our speech must be holy, our mind must be pure, our actions towards our middle class neighbor must reflect God's love. We have not only been called to serve, we have been called to holiness. And holiness cant be in a single aspect of one's life. It has to infiltrate it all.

You are the light of the world, Jesus told us. We need to realize that a light is light, through and through. No more picking and choosing what part of our lives we allow to be light, and what parts we will harbor darkness. Be light or be dark. For in today's world, picking both sides is as good as picking no side.

...

Lesson for Today: In a Pickle and Buzz Word are two very entertaining games.

On Your Mark, Tony and Francis...

2009-10-30T10:17:00.002-04:00

The next three speakers were Tony Dungy, Matt Chandler, and Francis Chan. We missed Matt Chandler, and Tony and Francis can both fit into this post together...

Tony Dungy is an incredibly humble man. When he finished his time on stage, Gary and I looked at each other and both remarked on how we respect him. He is making a difference for the Kingdom in a way only he can, and isnt that what we are all called to do?

His message was on teamwork. "Help your players be the best they can be," and, "Get everyone on the team to focus on one goal." Some serious leadership lessons right there. Not anything new or remarkably life changing. But its the application of those two phrases that can change a leader's entire approach to his team.

Francis Chan led us into communion. He got up on stage and talked about how he battled with God to give him a good message for Catalyst. But in the end, let it go. Because God is God and that message is enough. He laughed in the joy of the Spirit (Heidi Baker style, but way more subdued, for those of you who know of her), and passion was dripping from his spirit. He simply wanted to read us Scripture, telling us God's Word is more powerful than any message he could give. And so he did. And in those moments of him reading, the Scriptures came alive to me again in a new way - Scriptures I have heard over and over again. Remember, he said, "the God of all grace will Himself restore you, confirm you." Such power.

As he was finishing and communion was being passed out, Aaron Keyes came up to lead us in worship again. And in that moment, he said something that has come back to me countless times since the conference. He talked about how, in the Old Testament, when someone brought a sacrifice, God only cared about the perfection of the lamb. The focus wasnt on the perfection of the person, but on the perfection of the sacrifice. Our sacrifice is Christ - the perfect and spotless Lamb - whose blood covers all. It was such a powerful reminder that its not about me. Its about standing on the sacrifice and in the righteousness of Christ. Under him, I am covered. Praise our Almighty God.

...

Lesson for Today: Hurt abounds. Be gracious to people around you, even when they dont deserve it. Because you dont know what hurt they are acting out of.

On Your Mark, Rob...

2009-10-23T15:51:00.003-04:00

Technically, Shane Hipps was the speaker after Malcolm. But since he was my favorite (yes, not the reaction most other people had...), and because I just got his book and want to read it before I comment on him further, I will move on to Rob Bell.

Rob had two main themes running through his message. The first was that leaders must fight hard against the time demands in ministry. He asked pointedly, "Does your spouse get your very best, or does your spouse get whats left over after youve given your all to the thing youre building?" Your spouse will be with you along the whole journey, so dont forsake them for a single project. Everyone needs something from you. But you have to make sure your family gets their needs met first, and best. God has given you your family to bless you, and for you to be a blessing to them: dont waste that.

The other thing Rob talked about was simple enough to really burrow into my mind. He talked about how a church is a eucharist, meaning good grace or good gift, for its town, community, city. And being the church, you, too are a eucharist. You are a good gift to the community God has put you in. But when you break that down, analyze it, and disagree (saying you arent fit to be where you are, others can do it better, or you dont do anything important), you disgrace a holy and sacred thing that God has put in place.

We do what we do because God has told us to. Thats as simple as it can get. And in ministry we have to surrender our agenda to His.

Like many of the other leaders, Rob began and finished with prayer. But two things he said in those prayers really stood out, and seemed to be the glue of his message. They are things I now pray for myself, and for our church.

Lord God, we give your Spirit permission to set us free. And Creator, we repent of all the ways we have failed to be ourselves.

...

Lesson for Today: I finally figured out that the website to create a free playlist to play most any song you want is playlist.com. Sweet. It only took forever. Oh, and while Im on a music topic, here is another one of Aaron Keyes songs. I love this one.

On Your Mark, Aaron...

2009-10-22T16:03:00.004-04:00

Aaron Keyes was one of the worship leaders at Catalyst. And since worship was such a huge part of the blessing at the conference, I thought it needed to be addressed and shared as well.

Here is one of the songs we sang, so you can experience it as well...

...

Lesson for Today: Orbiting the Giant Hairball is so good. Its awesome how God's truth can so often come from the business world. And that it can show me how much I really need to be whipped into shape.

On Your Mark, Malcolm...

2009-10-19T15:37:00.002-04:00

Malcolm Gladwell was finally on stage - I had much anticipation and expectation for this man I had come to know, as one often can through someone's writings. A genius in many respects.

A genius, and yet his whole message to the leaders of today was wrapped up in one word: humility. Coming from a man who has been on the NYTimes Best Seller List multiple times, has his own column in the New Yorker, and has countless fans.

Using the historic example of the Battle of Chancellorsville, Gladwell taught that those who are overconfident in leadership are dangerous. "Incompetence annoys me," he said. "Overconfidence scares me." Because, most often, those making incompetent decisions aren't those in a position of leadership. But those in leadership are more prey to thinking they know how to handle everything, and their decisions made in overconfidence can affect a lot more people than an average man's incompetent decision.

"The world around you is changing, but overconfidence will blind you from it... In times of crisis, we need humility from our leaders, not daring and boldness that comes from overconfidence." And today can fairly accurately be labeled a "time of crisis." People need Jesus.

At the end of his talk, Gladwell was asked what will signal overconfidence in a leader. "A key sign of overconfidence is when a leader stops listening to those around them, they refuse to hear anything other than what is sure in their head... Humility is an ability, or a willingness, to listen to others."

It was a reminder that God calls us to community. Even in leadership. Or maybe especially in leadership. And the moment we think we can do it alone, weve already failed.

...

Lesson for Today: Malcolm Gladwell is really cool. Read his stuff.

On Your Mark, Jessica...

2009-10-14T15:04:00.004-04:00

The second speaker at Catalyst was Jessica Jackley, founder of Kiva, a peer-to-peer microlending website. Basically, her organization allows people to make anywhere from $25 to $500 loans to people in third world countries who need financing to start their own business. And as the business grows, they pay the loan back.

A few things struck me as I listened to her. The first was that God can do anything through anyone. Here is a young surfer/poet/yoga instructor who found a need, asked her friends and family to help, and now only a few years later, has seen almost $100 million given. God will bless what fulfills his purposes, no matter how small a start.

Another thing that resonated with me was the notion that giving creates dependency, while loaning creates independency and responsibility. By loaning the money and taking the repayment, one can give a man or woman living in complete poverty the dignity and self-worth that independence creates. Its not just about throwing money at a problem. Its about helping someone financially, emotionally, and socially. Think about your husband, brother, or father being unable to support his family in such dire circumstances that he cant bring home dinner tonight. He cant provide new shoes for his kids as they walk miles to school. He cant provide medical care when his wife gets sick.... God has created man to provide. Its within his very make-up to have a deep-seated desire to provide for his family. And microfinancing can give him that opportunity.

The third take away from Jessica was these three ideas: Connectivity, Equality, Mutual Respect. Tied to the idea of creating independence, microfinancing produces an equality among people of different races, cultures, classes, and color. Because the loan is being paid back, the givers find themselves in the midst of connecting and respecting those who are working as hard as possible to pay that back off - while building a business from the ground up.

Its a powerful concept. How such a little thing can make such a big difference in a human life.

And worth noting, Hope International also has a microfinancing program.

...

Lesson for Today: Growing news stories about your own community are extremely interesting to track - as well as the commenters that get involved.

On Your Mark, Andy...

2009-10-13T16:53:00.006-04:00

Catalyst 2009 was incredible. Worshipping, learning, and mingling with over 12,000 other leaders from around the country is an experience one doesnt get every day. So much happened over the past couple days that has left me with plenty to process. I thought writing would be a helpful way of going through all that I learned and all that God spoke to my heart... So here is each message, summed up through my eyes, in my own words...

Andy Stanley opened the first day. After each message, I tried to pull out the one or two words that would describe what had just been communicated. Andy's I titled "Service in Devotion." Using Joshua 5 and 23, he spoke on how we need to be more concerned with being on God's side, rather than who is on our side. The quote he used was from his dad growing up: "God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him." In other words, do what God has called you to do, and leave the rest up to Him - He'll take care of it. We are meant to play a role in a bigger picture than what we can see. And if we spend all of our lives caught up in only our own life, we are leaving much too small a mark.

The thing that really hit me in his message was when he said, "You have no idea what God wants to do through you. You won't even know He's done the most significant thing in you until well past when its over." We get so caught up in waiting for something big to happen, dont we? Im one of the worst at this. I am constantly seeking significance, meaning, wanting to simply make a difference. And yet, all along God has used me to be significant in the lives of others. Too often I miss it because I am so caught up in wanting it. Andy reminded me that I simply need to do what God is calling me to do, and when I look back, I will see significance. A life caught up entirely in God cannot end without having made a difference. Our God is too big for that.

So trust. And rest. He will use you in ways beyond your imagination. Just continue to obey.

...

Lesson for Today: Being behind the camera is so much better than being in front of it. Talk about a lot of laughs.

Small Actions, Big Results...

2009-10-06T12:31:00.002-04:00

If you take a piece of paper and fold it in half 50 times, do you know how tall it would be?

It would reach the sun. And fold it in half one more time and it would be the length of the distance from the sun and back. This is one of those puzzles that you have probably heard before, but it made me think this time.

Andy Stanley is often talking about how little decisions made today will most definitely affect your future. Things like cutting out a regular sized Tim Hortons coffee from your daily morning routine will save you over $1500 in three years. Or making it a point to call a family member once a week will change your relationship in a year. While we tend to focus on the big, obvious actions of our lives, its the small things day to day that really make the difference.

When I think about how something as thin as a piece of paper can reach the sun if it was simply folded in half 50 times, it brought me back to Andy's philosophy. Little things can have huge, life altering results. And the point is that we need to be faithful to the smallest of things that God calls us to.

Because it just might end up changing your life.

...

Lesson for Today: A recent study has found that when pregnant women are exposed to the BPA chemical in Nalgene bottles and other sources, they have a higher risk for female children with aggression and ADHD...

Perry Goes to Clemson...

2009-10-02T16:59:00.006-04:00

Ive been becoming quite a fan of NewSpring Church. Perry Noble, the Senior Pastor, has a say-it-like-it-is, there-is-no-such-thing-as-too-blunt kind of attitude. And its refreshing. He speaks the Word of God with truth and conviction. Check em out.

One of his most recent series, In Rhythm, talks a lot about petty issues that frustrate church members - and how we need to get over them in order to build the Kingdom. So, to really hit home his point, he headed up to Clemson to talk with head coach Dabo Swinny. I think youre gonna like it.

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Lesson for Today: Praying for your food in Panera can bring on a plethora of comments from the bystanders...

New Beginnings...

2009-10-01T11:36:00.005-04:00

Today is October 1. And with it, comes a new beginning. I continually forget, or perhaps just dont meditate enough on the fact that God is a God of new beginnings. Anyone in him is a new creation: the old is gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5.17). His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3.23). He desires to be worshipped with new songs (Psalm 33.3) and when we've lost our ability to sing, He is the One that gives us that new song to sing (Psalm 40.3).

The reality of a new beginning is so freeing. Its October 1, and God has given us a new month to sing new praises. As Ive been on this journey, I have tried to keep coming back to the idea of new beginnings. Every bit of newness He gives us needs to be recognized - and dedicated. God has called for our first fruits. But how do we give him the first of something old? It is in his gracious giving of new beginnings that we have the opportunity to continually give of ourselves, our thoughts and actions, our hearts over to Him.

Dedicate the first page of a new prayer journal to praising Him. Dedicate the first day back to work from vacation to focusing your mind on who God is, rather than diving right in to all there is to catch up on. Dedicate the first day of the month to spending extra time with God, asking what purposes He holds for you in that month. Wake up every morning and dedicate the first minutes to thanking Him for His mercies that are renewed. Again:

Every bit of newness He gives us needs to be recognized - and dedicated.

Isn't He worthy of that?

...

Lesson for Today: Awesome worship song. Thanks, Jaim.

The Good Samaritan...

2009-09-27T18:11:00.005-04:00

I've been reading Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point this weekend - getting ready to hear him at the Catalyst conference.

At one point midway through the book, he looks at an experiment by Princeton University psychologists John Darley and Daniel Baston inspired by the "Good Samaritan" idea. They took a group of seminarians from Princeton Theological Seminary and told them they would have to prepare a sermon and then walk to the building next door and present it. They introduced three variables into the experiment: 1.) Before the experiment started, they asked the students why they were in seminary, whether it was for personal fulfillment or to help others, etc., 2.) Some of them were told to develop a sermon on the relevance of the professional clergy to the religious vocation and the others were told to do it on the parable of the Good Samaritan, 3.) Half of them were told they were a few minutes early and could take their time getting to the building where they were supposed to give their talk. The other half were told they were a few minutes late and should hurry over.

On the path the students would take to deliver their sermons, Darley and Baston planted a man "slumped in an alley, head down, eyes closed, coughing and groaning." The expected result was that those who had responded that they were in seminary to help others, and those who had to prepare their sermon on the Good Samaritan (thereby having just spent time on the command to help those in need) would be the two groups most likely to stop and help the man. But the results shocked both Darley and Baston. Neither of those two variables made any difference. The only thing that mattered was whether the seminarian was told he was late or not. Of those told they had some time to spare, 63% stopped to help the man. Of those told they were late, only 10% stopped to help.

Darley and Baston said of the experiment, "It is hard to think of a context in which norms concerning helping those in distress are more salient than for a person thinking about the Good Samaritan, and yet it did not significantly increase helping behavior. Indeed, on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way."

That statement made me stop. And wonder.

Wonder how many times Ive stepped over someone in need because I was late for a ministry meeting, or to get to church, or to do some other "righteous" act for God. And wonder what opportunities Ive missed in serving Christ because I was too busy or too late. How God's heart must break in the times when His servants miss what He has put right in front of their eyes. Or right under their feet.

...

Lesson for Today: Tony Stewart endorses Burger King because he loves it. Or so they say.

To Relinquish, To Abandon...

2009-09-21T19:21:00.007-04:00

One of the definitions of surrender is "to give up, relinquish or abandon." As I've been thinking about surrender tonight, I thought about how we view surrender as such a negative thing. Gary and I just recently had a conversation about how no guy likes the word "surrender." It is simply not something a guy wants to do, generally. He wants to stand up, defend, fight, win. Not surrender. I dont know many girls who like the idea of surrendering, either. Its because we are ingrained to look out for ourselves. Surrender goes against our very nature.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize how much we miss because we are not willing to surrender to our God. While, yes, part of surrender is giving up every part of ourselves for Him to do with what He will, the other part of surrender is abandoning ourselves to His love. To give up, relinquish, and abandon the pursuit of earning His love. We can't earn it. Ever. No matter what. All we can do is surrender to it.

Surrender to it in such a way that we are completely enveloped in it. Like a man in a canoe is powerless to do anything against the raging rapids - he is surrendered to the ride - so we, too, must sit in our canoe and let God's love take us wherever He wants. It may be over a waterfall we would call suicide. It may be down a tiny stream we would call simplistic. It may be in waters raging so hard we would call it uncontrollable. But that's the point, isnt it? If we are still in control, we havent surrendered yet, have we?

John Mark McMillan's song, "How He Loves" is a perfect picture of this.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight
of His wind and mercy...
He loves us, Oh how he loves us

Surrendering to his love means we are going to have to bend. Like a tree in a hurricane.

And all of the sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions
eclisped by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections
are for me...
He loves us, Oh how he loves us

But oh, to realize how great his affections are for us. The prize of His love is so worth the surrender.

We are his portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If his grace is an ocean
We're all sinking

We are his portion and He is our prize. He is our prize. He is our prize. I dont think we can ever fully understand the weight of that. For if we did, we would be falling at his feet and surrender wouldnt be the struggle it so often is. He is our prize.

And heaven meets earth in an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I dont have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...
Oh, how he loves us all
Oh, how he loves us...

There is no reason to maintain the regrets we have when we realize His blood and His love cover all. Oh, how we loves us so.

Praise God for the opportunity to surrender.

...

Lesson for Today: Playing Cedric over Ray is the way to go in Fantasy Football...

Richness and Blessing...

2009-09-17T15:36:00.003-04:00

More truth from Walter and Ragman:

In the terrible, terrible doing of ministry is the minister born. And, curiously, the best teachers of that nascent minister are sometimes the neediest people, foul to touch, [unworthy], ungiving, unlovely, yet haughty in demanding - and then miraculously receiving - love. These poor, forever with us, are our riches.

Oh God, let me know the richness you have given me by putting people all around me who are desperate and needing. For giving me people to love you through. For allowing me the opportunity to physically serve you. Thank you for the poor and the broken, the hungry and the sick, the imprisoned and the hurting; for it is through them that I can touch you, it is in their face that I see your eyes, it is on their skin that I feel your warmth. Make me know, truly know the extent of those blessings. Increase your presence in my life through them.

And thank you for their sacrifice and humility in receiving my help, that I may draw near to you in the journey.

...

Lessons for Today: The number of people whose last name falls in the A-D category here at WRBC is exceptionally long... Wouldn't have thought.

"It Involves the Supernatural"...

2009-09-15T13:52:00.004-04:00

I sat with a man this weekend who obviously loves telling stories. He is 76 and from the "old country": Germany. He immigrated here after the war, and like my grandparents, strove to make a new life for himself in a completely new world. Being able to sit and hear the stories that comes from a life like this fascinates and challenges me.

As we were sitting around the table, he started his final story by saying, "This will be my last story, but I have to tell you...because you need to know." And then he began to share:

He lived in a small village as a child. His father was a farmer and their house was a ways off the main road. All the land they had in the back was filled with hay piles "about this big" he told us, pointing to the roof of the tent we were sitting under (about 10 feet high) and "three more feet out that way" he pointed, showing us an area about 10 feet wide. One night during the Second World War, his family got news that the Russians were coming to town. "They were coming to rape our women, kill our children, and plunder what little was in our town," he told us. So in order to save the family, the four grandparents had everyone crawl down into the basement and covered the doors with piles of firewood. "They were the only ones who knew where we were. And there was no way we could push that firewood away to open the doors. So if anything happened to them, we would suffocate in there."

That night, the Russians came. Somehow, the grandparents were found out and began to run (those details were left out of the story and Im a little fuzzy on why or what happened with the "finding out"). They ran into the back fields and decided to hide in the middle of one of the big hay piles. They dug a hole out of the center, all four climbed in, and they filled the hole back in. Now hidden, they could only pray that God saved them.

Realizing they must be hiding, the Russians began to stab the hay piles with their bayonets. "When they came to the one my grandparents were in, 5 stabs went in: the first on the right of the end person, the second in between the two first people, and so on down the line. The last on went in on the left side of the person on the other end." Had it been any closer, they would have been found out, killed, and the rest of the family would have died in the basement. God saved their lives... by inches.

"Christianity is not just an ideal. It involves the supernatural." His point of the story was that God was merciful, and they recognized it as God - something many of us don't do anymore. We recognize a near accident that we just miss as lucky. We see our healing as the doctor's knowledge and modern medicine. Not that God doesn't work through doctors or medicine, but we need to give credit where credit is due.

And recognize that time and again, God saves our lives... by inches.

...

Lesson for Today: If roasted with garlic and pine nuts, broccoli can actually be termed "good." I know, who knew?

God, I love you, too...

2009-09-11T13:37:00.003-04:00

In reading Ragman by Walter Wangerin, Jr., I have come across two passages that have made me stop.

Stop. And think.

For fear of diminishing the profundity of his words, I am simply going to leave them here, comment-less. Receive from it what you will:

For you are wonderful beyond describing it. And yet you love me. And still you choose to notice me. And nonetheless, you bend your boundless being, your infinity, into space and time, into things and into history, to find me, to preserve my life. Abba, Abba, Father! How it is that you care for me?

I whisper, amazed that you should care to hear it; I whisper, astonished that it could make a difference to the Deity; I whisper here, now, the truth of my heart and the wholeness of my being:

I whisper, God, I love you, too.

~ ~ ~

You emptied yourself to enter the city, and though your coming may not make it good, it makes you cry, and there you are. In the oily streets, damp with rain and human sin, lit by a single light, I see your face reflected. O God, your incarnation's in the streets. I see the city, and I cannot help but see you.

And I love you.

They ask me, "Whom do you love?" And I tell them I love you. They ask, "But whom do you love?" I point to the city. They insist, "But whom do you love?"

And since they cannot see you for themselves, I do the next best thing: I tell them stories. I tell them a thousand stories, Lord. For the city is active, and you are acting in it, always; and activity's a story. I tell them about you by telling them the story.... Convince them of your love, O Lord....

Because I love you, and I love them too. But yours is the mightier love, and I wish they knew it. Oh! I wish they could laugh out loud for the knowledge of your love for them.

So I turn to you, here at the beginning: Give them eyes, bright God, to see you everywhere. They are the city: to see you in themselves! Give them ears, thou roll of thunder, and feeling for your presence - ...in the streets because you choose to love them.

...

Lesson for Today: I dont regret anything about my wedding day and how we did things... But I have to admit that this comes close to making me wish we had been a little bit more out of the box.

Theres No Such Thing?...

2009-09-08T15:42:00.007-04:00

Ive been reading Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. Its a really interesting read on what goes on inside our subconscious, how we make decisions in a "blink" of time without thinking about them, and how those decisions can be right or wrong, depending.

In the conclusion of his book, he writes about how having too much information can be detrimental to our judgement.

We live in a world saturated with information. We have virtually unlimited amounts of data at our fingertips at all times, and we're well versed in the arguments about the dangers of not knowing enough and not doing our homework. But what I have sensed is an enormous frustration with the unexpected costs of knowing too much, of being inundated with information. We have come to confuse information with understanding.

I was hit a little unexpectedly by that point. Its true that our world today gives us the ability to access any piece of information in mere seconds - milliseconds even. We can know almost anything about anything. And we think thats helped us.

Yes, it provides for ease. It speeds up trends. It moves us at a faster pace. But do we take it for what is? That all we are gaining is knowledge and information, not understanding? Or do we think we are a better people because our brains are filled more than the previous generation?

When I read Gladwell's quote, I thought of the song I used to hear on the radio as a kid, "Too Much Fun," by Daryle Singletary. "Too much fun, what's that mean? Its like too much money, theres no such thing. Its like a girl too pretty, with too much class. Being too lucky. A car to fast. No matter what they say Ive done.. Well, I aint never had too much fun." In our age today, we dont know what "too much" is. Isnt more always better? No, not always. Not when we think enough of one thing makes up for a lack of another. Not when we think information can take the place of understanding. For God has declared, "...a people without understanding will come to ruin!" (Hosea 4.14)

Sometimes, I think Gladwell is right - there IS such a thing as too much information.

...

Lesson for Today: Some people really know what it is to take advantage of a deal. 31 days of travel, spending 12 hours in each city. Way to go Joe and Clark.

God Saves...

2009-09-06T21:01:00.004-04:00

I sat with a man tonight who obviously loves telling stories. He is 76 and from the "old country": Germany. He immigrated here after the war, and like my grandparents, strove to make a new life for himself in a completely new world. Being able to sit and hear the stories that comes from a life like this fascinates and challenges me.

As we were sitting around the table, he started his final story by saying, "This will be my last story, but I have to tell you...because you need to know." And then he began to share:

Realizing they must be hiding, the Russians began to stab the hay piles with their bayonets. "When they came to the one my grandparents were in, 5 stabs went in: the first on the right of the outside person, moving down the line to be in between each body, and the last on the left side of the other end." Had it been any closer, they would have been found out, killed, and the rest of the family would have died in the basement. God saved their lives... by inches.

"Christianity is not just an ideal. It involves the supernatural." His point of the story was that God was merciful, and they recognized it as God - something many of us don't do anymore. We recognize a near accident that we just miss as lucky. We see our healing as the doctor's knowledge and modern medicine. Not that God doesn't work through those things, but we need to give credit where credit is due.

And recognize that time again, God saves our lives... by inches.

...

Lesson for Today: When you arent sure what to do with people you dont know, tell stories.

Therefore, Go...

2009-09-02T14:38:00.004-04:00

...You know me... You discern my going out and my lying down... You hem me in behind... and before... You lay Your hand upon me... for darkness is as light to You... You created my inmost being... You knit me together... I praise you... I am made... I was woven together... Your eyes saw... days ordained for me... I am still with you... search me... know my heart... lead me...

Psalm 139

Have you ever thought of how God made us for a specific purpose, but we cant fulfill that until we know what it is? Is my purpose the same as yours? Is yours the same as his? Or is it like hers? No, its YOURS. God created you, with a very specific plan and purpose in mind. He created you to do something totally different than he created me to do. He created Moses to go, He created Jeremiah to weep, He created Hosea to love relentlessly. Our purposes are definitively NOT the same. Some are called to reach out to hurting women, others are called to youth, others are called to parents in crisis... The list goes on. What is your purpose?

I found out my purpose this week. After 22 years, I now know what gifts and talents, strengths and abilities God has knit together inside of me, and I know for what purpose He did so. He created me to "Reform to Alleviate." And the freedom in knowing that gives me a joy and excitement beyond what I have known before.

Life Purpose Coaching "asks questions that unlock your stories and lead you into a discovery of purpose that empowers you the rest of your life." Through this process, the Holy Spirit led me to realize what my specific part is in furthering the Father's plans here on this earth. "Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away." My time here is limited. I have 50-60 years left, and then my opportunity to be the creature God made me to be here on this earth... That opportunity is gone. In the blink of an eye, I will fly away.

But in understanding my purpose, I can live with intentionality every day, in every situation. I can be who I was made to be with a sense of satisfaction.

"I have called you. Therefore, go..."

What has he called you to? Where will you go?

...

Lesson for today: Very few movie stores still have Quiz Show available for rent. It was made in 1994, which means it is just far too old to have on hand anymore.

Are you an Eigen Function?...

2009-08-28T19:34:00.004-04:00

There's a mathematical concept that has caught my attention over the past couple of months. But as I was looking it up to understand it a bit better, the engineer of the house walked by and laughed at me for reading articles on eigen functions on a Friday night... But Ive learned that theres more to be learned from them than just...well, whatever it is that math people learn from them. So heres the pay off of what I got from it.

Its been explained that an eigen function, at its most simple explanation, is that which is self-explaining, or as Stephen Denny puts it, "...its expression is self-validating." To give an example, the following sentence can be called an eigen function: "This sentence starts and ends with a T." It explains what it is. Get it? Sort of?

It took me a bit. But you can check more about how it plays into marketing at Stephen Denny's blog. Its a pretty solid marketing function and made me question a lot about how to be a better "business."

But past that, it made me think of what we are called to be as Christians. 1 John says, "Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did." We are called to be eigen functions. When we are explaining who Christ is, the person listening should get it immediately because they see how we live. When we are telling of the grace and forgiveness that comes at the feet of Jesus, we should be self-validating the grace and forgiveness we ourselves pour out on others.

Its been said before, in multiple ways, like "Walk the Talk." But the basic message of that phrase, and of the concept of eigen functions, is that we need to be the essence of what and Who we claim. Period.

Not bad for a Friday night of math articles, huh?

...

Lesson for Today: Doctor offices are no fun. Especially when they check your age to make sure you dont need a parent signature. And then get asked way too many questions that you have no idea how to answer.

Paper Walls...

2009-08-26T16:34:00.007-04:00

I was in the car with my sister this past week as we heard a new song titled "Paper Walls." As I listened to the lyrics, I couldnt help but think of how much the Christian life is lived within those paper walls. Here are a few of the lyrics to give you the general idea:

Let's burn a hole so we can climb out

Of these paper walls and this empty house

Don't listen too close, their words are like guns

With bullets that fly and kill what you've won

Let's burn a hole so we can climb out

Of these paper walls and this empty house

We're the only thing thats real

These visions we have of ten years ago...

Some love to hate and some tell you lies

So let's make a toast and kiss them goodbye...

Here I am, still hold on to this

Dream we had, won't let go of it...

Let's take what hurts and write it all down

On these paper walls and this empty house

And when our ink runs out, we'll burn it to the ground

Here I am, still hold on to this

Dream we had, won't let go of it...

Here I stand, won't turn back again...

As I listen to that song, I envision the Christians who are living in houses made of paper walls - houses built by the hurt, lies, and darkness of this world. God has given us a dream, something we held on to and were excited about at first. But as we ran after what He put in our hearts, the world hit us across the face. And as we met with trials, walls began to build. The ironic part is: we arent trapped, even though we feel like it. We just have to realize those wall are only paper.

We live in these paper houses, thinking they will protect us from what the rest of the world will throw at us. And yet, in the bottom, deepest part of our hearts, we know that dream is from God and is meant to be fulfilled. Why cant we just set fire to the walls? Is it due to fear? To the comfort of living in some semblance of a house?

We need to learn to break out. We need to write down what hurts, and let Christ set fire to those walls. We need to be freed to fulfill the purposes He created us for. Why cant we see that?

When I was in Mexico a few years ago, the church we were at had set up for prophetic art during the service. One of the members felt God put an image on his heart, so all service he was on the side of the sanctuary working on it. At the end, he held up an incredible sketching of a man inside a prison cell. He was lying on the floor beside a window - his shackles undone, the door opened. And yet, he continued to lie there. God was speaking through that image saying, "This is my church. I have freed you. FREED YOU! The door is open, I have paid your price, walk out and join me! Why wont you join me?"

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. There it is, right there. Galatians 5.1. We have been set free.

So let's take what hurts and write it all down. And when our ink runs out, we'll call fire from heaven to burn those walls down. And then well walk in the freedom we have in Christ, and never look back.

Never look back.

...

Lesson for today: Warren G. Harding was one of those men known for his striking features. Not that Im agreeing, or disagreeing. Just to say he was known for it back at the turn of the 20th century, according to journalist of the time, Mark Sullivan.

Our Chance to Change the World...

2009-08-14T22:46:00.009-04:00

This past week was spent serving inner city kids and meeting other needs in Buffalo. The wildest part of it all is that we entered into a completely different world...ten minutes down the road from where we live. And I cant think of anything more challenging than that fact.

The week had its ups and downs as one can imagine, what with being in charge of 30+ five and six year old boys. But I would give a whole lot to do it again.

Sitting here tonight, I think about all I have seen over the past 6 days... In fact, I cant get it out of my head. Try as I might, images seem to be burned on the back of my eyes, as if I see the world I am in now through those memories... How different life is.

Sharing the images on my mind seems futile - like telling a Texan the good points about snow - only because I know that hearing it isnt like experiencing it. But I cant not tell. And I think it needs to be heard.

There are good images like Jermaine dancing up and down during closing ceremony, spinning in circles, trying to follow along with the song as best he could. And all the while looking up at me with his dark brown eyes and bright white smile. Or like watching Isaac share his toy with the same boys who would simply rip it out of his hands if he didnt give it willingly. Or sitting on the bus ride home, squeezed in a seat with three boys, and having us all tell stories and share 15 minutes of life together.

There are bad images like breaking up a fight between two five year olds and, while holding one of them away from the other, seeing the malice in his eyes and feeling his heart beating wildly with rage. Or the image of Mu-Nae, a Burmese refugee, walking out of her tiny apartment, confusion in her eyes, and her three children staring up at us with wonder. Or watching a fourteen and fifteen year old out on the street tell of their drug deals and the joy they would have in shooting someone with their newly bought "pieces of steel."

And there are heartbreaking images. Ones that can stop a smile mid-laugh. Like watching the tears roll down Linda's face, a homeless woman seeking prayer for a place to stay. Or hearing about one of the boy's mom who prostitutes herself to support her drug addiction, leaving the children home alone for days. Or seeing an old woman, who reminded me so much of my own grandma, stand in the blazing sun for half an hour just to get a bag of groceries because she has no one to care for her.

The images are vibrant and distinct right now. But Im worried that, as they start to slowly fade away, I will forget. Im worried I will forget Rodney's smile in spite of his horrendous situation. Im worried I will forget that these boys need more love and attention or they will end up a prison, youth violence, or death statistic. Im worried I will forget that all this need is just around the corner.

And as I think about forgetting, I know that I need to soak up what God has taught me this week as much as possible so that it is ingrained in me - even when the images fade.

So what to do now? How do we change how we live in suburbia to meet these needs? What can I do to help past this one week?

Leviticus 19: The LORD said to Moses, "Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy....' When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God."

As I read this, I wonder how many times suburban Christians have gone over their harvest fields twice to gather everything for themselves that they can - myself included. How often do we milk all we can get out of situations, only to horde it for ourselves? We work overtime, we spend time finding great deals, we tithe our 10% and dont give a penny more... all so that our bank accounts can grow, our toys can multiply, and our security is cushioned. Why arent we allowing the edges of the harvest or the second gleaning to go to the incredible number of both the poor and alien in our own city?

And even more than how we live our individual lives, I think the way we do church needs to change; too often we pick up the grapes that have fallen and eat them ourselves when it comes to ministry as well. Why do we want to spend our money to make our church buildings look the best they can instead of using the money to reach the poor and bring them through our doors? Why does our effort go to creating programs that will "please" the "mature" Christians instead of putting all our effort into helping the nonChristian, the "immature"? What are we doing?

Not that Im in the habit of quoting him, but as Bono says... "Every generation gets a chance to change the world."

God, help us change.

...

Lesson for today: Scrubbing extremely dirty window blinds...out on a dirty sidewalk...with dirty water...and a soft sponge...in the hot sun...with people staring at you... That is definitively NOT the best way to go about cleaning them - no matter what a good idea it seems to be at the time.

How to Have the Perfect Life...

2009-08-06T16:18:00.008-04:00

Sometimes God's plans go against what man thinks is "common sense." My ways are higher than your ways. That whole idea. And when we follow what God calls us to do, we get criticized. Even by those who understand that God calls for out of the ordinary.

My marrying Gary was one of them. In fact, my dating Gary was one of them, too. He was different from me. We were both strong Christians and seeking what the Lord had, but he was different. I laughed...all the time. And, well, he didnt. I was all smiles, carefree and fun. And he was serious. I was young and he was older. I hadnt ever dated anyone and he had. I was just entering college and he was graduated with a full time job and his masters in view. These differences made our decision to pursue a relationship seem unwise and careless to many.

When we first started dating, I had person after person give me what they thought were helpful comments. Everything from people he knew telling me what his struggles were, to telling me I would be wise to stay away, to telling me I need to be careful with this relationship... Everyone thought they knew him best. And decided to tell me so. But the more I got to know him, the less he resembled all those things people told me. He laughed and he made me laugh. He created fun and I had more fun when I was with him. He was out of the box and goofy and wild and hilarious... But none of those people knew him enough to see beyond his front. And so they told me how they saw him, how he "really" was.

It made dating so difficult for me. I had sleepless nights and lonely afternoons were I pondered what they had said and wondered what I was doing. But time and again, God's Spirit spoke to me, deep called unto deep. And I knew that I was supposed to be with him.

Then we broke up. And when I did, the comments I got were along the lines of, "I knew you two wouldnt last. Because I know him and I know you, and I just knew it wouldnt work." I was never sure how to take that or react to it. But still, I knew God had a plan for us. We got back together, got engaged, and tied the knot. All along the way, we were criticized. People told us horror stories of being married. They told us how different we were and how the road would be so hard for us. They told us everything you would never think your basic Christian community would tell you. And through it all, we prayed.

I think thats the only thing that kept me going. I heard the voice of God speaking loud and clear, and I had to make a solid decision that His voice was stronger than theirs.

The road hasnt been easy. It hasnt been all cherries and rainbows. But I am more in love with Gary now than I have ever been. And I have more confidence every day that I am where God is calling me. Not many people can say that.

Despite the comments and the criticism, the stories and the "advice," I am in the perfect place. I have the perfect life. Because right now, this is the life God has created me to live. And as long as I follow His voice, I can truly say my life is perfect. Its perfect for me.

...

Lesson for today: Some people are so lost, and so hurting... Like George Sodini. It makes my heart break for not reaching outside myself more often.

Life Giving Power...

2009-07-24T14:46:00.005-04:00

This is my first post in a long time. Almost a year, actually. Once I left Prison Fellowship and went back to school, there was little to write about. Sitting in classes and writing papers is significantly less exciting for me to write about than ministering to men and women in prison. But that's just me.

Since then, I've graduated, gotten married, and started a new job. Im part administrative assistant, part creative technology...person for my home church. I dont really have a title, so I tell it different every time someone asks.

So now that life has settled down a bit and I am in an environment where things happen that make me want to write - Im writing again.

One of the big things I have realized while being on a church staff is that people have a tendency to criticize. Myself included for sure. The first time that someone came into my office to criticize me (though Im sure they wouldnt use that word to describe what they were doing), I didnt know how to handle it. I dont have the toughest skin around. So I called my dad, pretty upset. And he told me a truth that I have thought of a lot since then:

95% of people will think what you are doing is great, but they wont ever say a thing. 5% of people will disagree with what you are doing, and they will say something every time.

As Ive thought over this principle, I see how true it is. When I disagree with how someone does something, Im the first one to criticize. I rarely say it out loud, and to them, but I will think it. And...in confession...Ill tell my husband much of the time. But when I think someone is doing a great job, its almost as if I think, Theyve got it covered. No need to comment. Pretty backwards. Especially for a body of believers.

People need encouragement. They need it. And we are responsible for building them up by the words we choose to speak. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Words have life giving power. Life. Giving. Power. Get that?

Life.

Giving.

Power.

...

Lesson for Today: Delta Sonic deals with 4 million cars a year and spaghetti sauce bacteria can ruin a trunk. Or so I was told.

Into Prison...

2008-07-28T11:34:00.007-04:00

On Saturday, 9 of the Prison Fellowship interns went to the James River Correctional Center near Richmond, VA. At security level 2 (out of 6), this prison was filled with men who were on their way out. Reentry was, on average, less than 7 years away for the majority of men housed here. It was our privelege to be able to attend classes with the men who are involved with Prison Fellowship's reentry program at the site.

The reentry program consists of classes 5 days a week (Monday-Thursday, Saturday morning) where the men learn basic life skills needed to survive on the outside. But all of the skills they learn are based upon biblical principles.

When we first arrived, we got a tour of the grounds. As we stood in front of one of the buildings and the guide went on about the number, race, and average crime of the men in the facility, my focus fell from her to the men playing basketball behind her. Her voice faded into the Charlie Brown's teacher type, and I watched them competing on the court. They were playing like any other guys, anywhere else. I thought of my fiancé, who was, at that exact moment, doing exactly the same thing these men were doing. He was playing in a different state, with different men; probably with a better ball, on a better court, and most likely, making more of his shots than these men I was watching. But there was no real difference between them and him when it came right down to it. They are just as "normal" as he is, men just like him. And it gave me an intensely personal view of the prisoners standing in front of me. I thought about their wives and their kids, their lives before prison. And somehow, in the midst of all this thinking, the barbed wire behind them disappeared, the uniform clothing faded away, and they were just men having fun with a ball and a hoop.

After the tour, we joined the men in the program half way through their Saturday morning class. Don Coleman was the guest speaker, focusing on three things: the Kingdom of God (characterized by righteousness, peace, and the joy of the Spirit), humility, and maintaining healthy relationships. Once we joined them, he started talking about race relations, as every one of the men in the program were black, and all the interns, save one, were not. He talked about the need for prayer, the need to provoke Christians past the church and into the Kingdom of God, the need to accept our differences, embrace them even, and still live in community... He was a convincing speaker, in that controversial kind of way.

I think the most powerful part of his lesson was not what he said. It was not what he brought to us in word, or the power of his language, or the persuasion in his voice. It wasnt the yelling, the calling us out, the righteously judging. It was, quite simply, his ushering in of the Spirit.

Yes, what he said made me think. Hard. But the power was brought in through the Presence of the Almighty God entering into that room in a way no one could rightfully ignore or deny. And it is solely because of that Presence that the next part of our visit was as powerful as it was.

Once Pastor Coleman finished, he left, and we stayed in the room with the men as he was brought to the gate and let out. Within minutes, the room was booming with... conversation. Yep, thats it. Just conversation. Nothing special. Just your every day, friendly conversation. Each of us had turned to each other and struck up a topic.

But take a step back, and you can see how powerful it was. You can see how impossible it would have been outside the realm of God's Presence within that room. Heres the picture: 8-10 black men: all dressed alike in their light blue collared shirt and denim pants, labeled with the term "prisoner", sitting inside a classroom with a metal detector right outside the door, and thick barbed wire running outside each window. 9 college students: majority of them white, most never having been inside a prison, seeing the bars and barbed wire that they are by no means used to. And suddenly, each start talking to each other, one on one, like they had known each other long enough to be completely comfortable. Within minutes.

Not something you see every day.

I talked to Mr. Holmes (within the program, everyone is referred to respectfully by their last name). He was 23 years old, in prison for drugs. With just a little over a year left in his sentence, we talked about his plans. His dream is to get a college education in computer science, and to counsel kids in a similar situation he was in before going to prison. He told me of how he grew up in a family with a very strict mother who cared about him. But he fell into peer pressure, and tried to please people any way he could. He told me of his fear when he first entered the prison walls as a 21 year old, told me of his cousin that he is afraid will do the same thing, told me of his determination to make a real life when he gets out. He told me of his fear of public speaking and his intense discomfort in front of people; and he told me of his dreams and visions of God using him in front of groups of people to tell his story and the power of Christ. Through it all, I could see the power Christ had brought to his life. The change Christ had brought.

We were able to finish up the morning by praying with the men: us for them, them for us, all of us for each other. And then we said goodbye. And as I walked out, I knew the face of Mr. Holmes would stay with me. The same way all the other faces do. Andy from my first prison visit in high school. Hope from the prison near school. Richard and Jose and Menor from the prisons in Costa Rica. The faces of precious friends who have made my life better as they passed through. Because they showed me firsthand the power of the God of change.

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Lesson for Today: A lot of foods you can get sick of pretty easily. Like PBJ sandwiches, peaches, salad. If eaten enough over a small amount of time, it gets pretty old. But some foods will never fit that category. And over the summer, Ive decided pancakes belong on that list.

Oh, and Bran cereal with strawberries is probably one of the best things youll eat - ever.

Real Beauty...

2008-07-24T15:41:00.004-04:00

At work today, I was listening to a webinar on marketing. One of the examples they used as pretty successful was the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. Interested, I checked it out.

Its pretty cool. The whole campaign is centered around teaching young girls what real beauty is. Real beauty is not what we see every day on billboards, in magazines, and on tv. Real beauty is you.

They have a self esteem zone with tools, videos, quizzes, and all sorts of other interactions that help teach young girls how to see themselves in a better light. It also has a lot of focus on the role that moms and mentors play in the development of a girl's healthy self image.

Its nothing profound, I guess. Or maybe it is. But I thought it was worth talking about, at any rate, because this stuff is real life. Not a used to be, but a now. Not an over there, but a right here. Not a minor deal, but a huge problem facing every young girl (and older women, too) in America and across the world.

Fighting a problem with truth.

(Also of note are the Dove films on the site. Evolution is particularly capturing.)

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Lesson for Today: Peaches can be cateogrized as cling, no cling, or semi cling. Who knew?

Dance in White Dresses...

2008-07-16T11:48:00.006-04:00

I am reminded today of how the world hurts. How our generation hurts.

Our friends who laugh with us at lunch are crying to die at night. People we pass on the street with it all put together are falling apart as soon as they find isolation. Everywhere. Some of us live in too much of a protected shield, myself included, to realize how deep and widespread the pain is. Its time to open our eyes.

I did research today on the non-profit organization, To Write Love on Her Arms. The story that began this ministry is a powerful one. The video that explains it a little better can be found at the bottom of their website. (On the group's facebook page, you can see an interview of Renee two years after becoming sober.) But if you are only going to take one action after reading this, read the full story here.

Basic recap: Renee was hurting. She was suicidal, addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and was cutting herself. She was denied entry into a rehab center because she was deemed "too great a risk."

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her. She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds.

Sent back onto the streets, a group of Christians took her in, helped her get control for a few days, and then brought her back to rehab where she became clean.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope." I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

Renee found hope. She found God's power of change. If there is one thing Im learning this summer, its of God's ultimate, all consuming power that brings life change. To prisoners, to the depressed, and to the hurting.

The best part of the story came at the end. He writes of the hope and grace Renee found in Jesus.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses.

Tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. Rarely have I heard a statement filled with such hope, such purpose. We all were made to dance in white dresses. To dance in joy before our King, for his pleasure and his glory. The broken, the confused, the hurting. The down trodden, the weak, the victims. But you know who else was made to dance in white dresses? The murderers, the victimizers, the pain inflicters. When they seek forgiveness, their garb changes from rags to robes. That is the power of Jesus.

I think the power of such a statement comes in revealing to a young girl who cant see living past today, who cant think past the hurt, who has been abused and taken advantage of, that she was made, made, to dance in white dresses...

But not only the hurting need to hear that. Those who are living "normal," "satisfied" lives need to hear it too. Because too often the complacency leads to sitting on the sidelines, refusing, by default, to dance before our King.

Another story that hit home the point was Josh Hamilton's testimony of how he left behind a life of drugs to become the MLB player he is today. Attributing it all to the power of the God of Change, he writes:

I prayed to be spared another day of guilt and depression and addiction. I couldn't continue living the life of a crack addict, and I couldn't stop, either. It was a horrible downward spiral that I had to pull out of, or die. I lay there -- in a hot and dirty trailer in the North Carolina countryside, in a stranger's house, in the cab of my pickup -- and prayed the Lord would take me away from the nightmare my life had become. How am I here? I can only shrug and say, "It's a God thing." It's the only possible explanation. I got better for one reason: I surrendered. Instead of asking to be bailed out, instead of making deals with God by saying, "If you get me out of this mess, I'll stop doing what I'm doing." I asked for help. I wouldn't do that before.

We know God is love. We know God is grace. We know God is powerful and mighty, patient and kind. But do we know God is change? Change for our broken lives, change for our complacency. Change for the ruts we thought wed never escape. Change for the cycles we thought would always go on.

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Lesson for Today: You know those embarassingly awkward situations that are minor and yet so horrible? Like someone catching you singing when you thought you were alone, or calling someone by another name only to realize it after the 15th time? Ya, leave those alone. Let it go, cut your losses. The attempt to fix them usually just results in further embarassment...

The Secret to Life...

2008-07-15T14:53:00.005-04:00

This is not how God works. He does not make spare parts. You are not a spare part. You have a purpose - a design that is central to God's dream for the human race.... Here is the story of your life: You are on a mission from God.

I know that I have made a claim with the title of this post that makes it seem like a serious oversimplification. No one really knows the secret to life, or else theyd be rich and wed all be living much better lives than we are now. But think again. There is a secret to life, and weve been given that precious knowledge. We just choose not to use it. What is this 'secret' that will change the way we live?

As a crucial part of your calling, you were given certain gifts, talents, longings, and desires. To identify these with clarity, to develop them with skill, and to use them joyfully and humbly to serve God and his creation is central to why you were created.

To know the reason we were created gives us purpose, meaning, and significance in life. All of these things are what we are truly seeking. Underneath the drive for money, fame, status, and everything else is our inate desire for meaning. To serve God to the best of our ability, with the gifts He has given us - that is the key to significance. It seems so complicated, and yet its not. Life can at times hit us in such a way that we make it harder than it has to be. But there it is - the secret to life.

To further the point, I thought this story was pretty powerful as well:

There is an old Hasidic story in which everyone is commanded to wear a coat with two pockets to receive messages from God. In one pocket is written: You are nothing but one of millions upon millions of grains of sand in the universe. In the other pocket it says: I made the universe just for you.

Significance to be sure.

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Lesson for Today: Answered get to know you questions can be extremely hilarious, strangely depressing, or any gamut of emotions in between.

Lunch Time...

2008-07-14T10:36:00.003-04:00

Last week, the interns had lunch with Mark Early and Chuck Colson, on separate days. It was two of the best parts about worldview week. Being able to have lunch and hear what they had to say to us, take in what they wanted to impart, ask questions and get answers... It was a good time. To put it lightly.

The best part about lunch with Mark was hearing his testimony. Ive mentioned in earlier posts about his attitude adjustment from God, and how he went from being attorney general to president of PF. Well, we got to hear an even more in depth description of that process, and in his own words. The part that really caught me was when he was describing the change in his perception of prisoners. It happened through the stories of Moses and Paul, as God showed him that he used these murders to accomplish His will. And not only that, they are arguably two of the most important figures in Biblical history. But they both started off with criminal records. Mark said (or something along these lines...), "I always used to think that the bad things people did disqualified them, not from salvation, but from use. But through the stories of Moses and Paul, I realized the opposite is the case." God's strength is made perfect in weakness. I dont know how many times we need to hear it before it rings true. Often times, the bad things people have done and turned away from are exactly what qualify them FOR use, not disqualify them from it. Not only for prisoners, but for all the other sinners walking free. Sinners like you and me. It makes me so grateful to think about how God not only loves me, not only forgives me, not only saves me... but uses me, in spite of my sin. Glory.

He also went on to say something similar to the following: "We do not go into prisons as a rescue mission at the gates of hell. We could do that anywhere. We could do that on the streets, in homeless shelters, or even in the church as there are plenty of sinners there. We do not go into the prisons because the people are so bad. We go in because we believe God is going to raise the next generation of leaders and catalysts for change from behind prison walls." I cannot tell you how many times I have heard leaders of this ministry talk about how God is bringing revival through the prison population. And talking to those who have been transformed behind bars, I can see it. I can see it coming. God is most certainly moving.

Lunch with Chuck was also interesting, and moving. (We got to have our picture taken with him at the end as well. A facebook profile picture if ever there was one.) He told us of how this ministry has changed so many lives. He told us of his meetings with the president and the ways God has worked through networks. He encouraged us in our faith and our understanding of the faith. He told us of how his relationship with his wife Patty made such a difference to this ministry as they journeyed and ministered together. But then he told us this: "People come up to me often and they say, 'You know, we like what you do, but we dont like your religion.' But what I do is because of my religion. I cannot separate the two." He told us of times that he had to take a stand, times where it would have been easier to take more of a social justice position than a Christian charity position. But then he would have been denying the very man that saved his soul. His integrity amazed me, and inspired me.

Both of these men had so much to offer us. They have so much to offer the world. And yet, I come to think that they are the same as everyone else. The difference is simply that they have opened their arms and said, "Lord, Im willing." Thats all it takes. When we come to the place where that is our true heart's desire, He can take it from there. Thats pretty exciting. At least it is from where Im sitting.

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Lesson for Today: There are only so many "get to know you" questions that one can think of before it starts turning into serious rewording of the exact same questions...

Dieting...

2008-07-09T19:39:00.009-04:00

"Your diet determines your destiny."

This week at Prison Fellowship is Worldview Week. It consists of all the interns, field and national, spending the week engaged in training: listening to different speakers on worldview topics, participating in different events, meeting with different people. The week began with speakers explaining what a worldview is (Chuck, who popularized the idea of worldview through his book How Now Shall We Live? defines worldview as the following: simply the way we think the world works, and how we fit into it; worldview shapes our thoughts, attitudes, and actions), why it is important, how we know truth, and then a variety of "worldview in"s... Worldview in media and arts. Worldview in politics and government. Worldview in academia and education. Worldview in business. And so on.

The week has been some part fascinating, some part boring, as week long training sessions tend to be, and all part free training (which can never be discounted...). While I cannot say that it covers things I havent heard before, I can say that I have been confronted with ideas that have proven to challenge me, inspire me, and excite me, right down to my core. Already having three days behind, its going to be hard to condense it all into one post. But Ive been keeping a list of highlights, and I am going to try to pull them all together in a logical and coherant way. I think the best way to do so is to use a quote by the Chuck man himself.

"I submit that you cannot be a Christian in today's world if you do not know what's going on around you."

This week has been about living life with integrity. Integrity is defined as wholeness. Integer: one. Integrate: come together. It all boils down to completeness, coherance, all parts working together as a single unit. Our lives must reflect this idea. If we are to take on the name of Christ, we have to let him change every part of our lives, not just the parts we are comfortable with. We cannot be Sunday morning Christians. We cannot be school-only Christians, or Bible-study-only Christians, or around-certain-friends-only Christians. We cannot be any other kind of "only" Christians. We cannot choose to work in the ministry simply because we are scared of the world. We cannot pull ourselves out of secular book clubs to segregate ourselves. While these can be done with pure intentions, a Christ against culture approach is not only illogical, its downright unbiblical. Chuck's quote reminds us that we cannot be Christians who live with our heads in the sand. We are called to engage this world, bring the gospel to them, and live our lives in a fallen place based on Christ's absolute truth and with wholeness.

So, with that as the overarching theme, here is what I have learned:

In leadership avoid the sin of overlooking people.
The famous quote by the great theologian Abraham Kuyper is this reason that our worldview is so important: "Oh, no single piece of our mental world is to be hermetically sealed off from the rest, and there is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: 'Mine!' " Christ cries "Mine!" over every single part of our existence. How can we only let him penetrate and rule over a portion of our lives? We must live with integrity, every part of our lives in wholeness.
Our true calling is: first, to know God; second, to love God; third, to love others. All other callings on our life (vocation, location, etc.) are secondary to this ultimate, trifold purpose.
We have to think from a Christian perspective and to a Christian perspective. One without the other denies ultimate truth.
Perspectival thinking has come to dominate academia as language is slipping all around us. As a result, we have to continually ask people, "What do you mean when you say..." or the conversation is useless, and even harmful.
We must learn that we cannot obtain happiness by seeking it. Instead, we find happiness in righteousness.

The things that I have learned that have fanned the flame of passion within me for prison ministry are the following:

For every crime that is committed, 100 people are negatively effected. That means that for every prisoner that is released back on the street a changed man, and does not commit another crime, 100 people are positively effected.
PF Benin is having some serious impact. Overcrowding, disease, death... Its taking over the prisons in the small African country of Benin. Prison Fellowship is trying to combat the problem by providing free legal aid to those awaiting trial (who often wait for a trial long enough in bad enough conditions in the prison that death overtakes them before they are even sentenced), providing jobs to keep the prisoners occupied and learn skills to make a living once released ("We are giving their minds freedom," states one PF Benin staff), classes to educate, and a Christian school that provides an above average education for children of prisoners. One of the head staff of PF Benin said, "All of this is my work, this is my assignment, this is my calling, this is my ministry, this is my life. And I cant do without it." Here, truly, is a man who knows the peace of following God's will for his life.
Nick Robbins is one of the field interns who joined us this week. He was imprisoned at age 16 for 7 1/2 years. In the Iowa IFI unit, he found Jesus. Nick is now interning with PF in Missouri, sharing his testimony of a changed life, and praising the God of change. He is a real life story of the power Jesus' forgiveness provides. Its interesting hanging out with him, and realizing all the effects prison still has on someone after being behind bars for a good portion of their life. He was driving us to dinner and he jokingly stated that he hopes we get there okay, because, now in his mid 20s, he has only been driving for a total of one year of his life...
Dan Wickam, a recent graduate of IFI Missouri said in his testimony, "I thought if there was a God, he hated me. And I was determined to hate him... In the spirit of Paradise Lost, I thought it would be better to reign in hell than serve in heaven." But then he came to IFI where Jesus found him. Talking about the program, he said, "The bar is set much higher. It is set to convert men into leaders, into catalysts of change in their community."

Lots of random tidbits. Its been a long few days. But it really does all come down to the idea of integrity. If we are to live our lives as Christ has called us to, every part must be submitted to his lordship, his will. Otherwise, we are only kidding ourselves. Our diet truly does determine our destinies. What are we allowing to shape our futures?

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Lesson for Today: When asking Ted Kennedy about his hypocrisy in estate taxes, make sure an elevator is not around for an easy escape.

Black or Lace???

2008-07-02T16:56:00.007-04:00

Weddings are an interesting thing. I think it takes all types of different girls and sorts them into categories. You get the "everything must be PERFECT" girl. You get the "bunk tradition, I want black" girl. You get the "I want to be a princess" girl, the "do it however you want, mom" girl, the "I just want to party" girl, the "I hate details, get me to Vegas" girl, and every other kind in between.

I was reading an article by a girl who gave the perspective of getting married without her mom, who had died years before, and the heartache that comes with it. Super sad, because weddings are meant to be shared with moms and sisters. And when that cant happen, or doesnt, grief hits.

But I found her article surprisingly lighthearted amidst the emotion, and felt more than one statement resonate with my own wedding "experience" thus far.

Statements that told of the ease of forgoing details, like, "We went with Option C pretty much across the board. Food, flowers, music, all decided in five minutes. Option C. When in doubt, I always chose Option C. After all, the same plan had worked quite well with my SATs." Statements that told of the hilariousness, and irony, of wedding dress saleswomen, like, " 'You look gorgeous,' they said. 'I look like me, but in a wedding dress.' 'Well, yeah. But a gorgeous you.' It wasn’t their fault that they lacked authority; they were being paid to say I looked good." Statements that highlight the joy of saving money, like, "I’ve never been the type for a wedding, either, which is probably why I was thrilled to buy our invitations from Costco, online and on sale. No hassle, no fuss, bulk discount."

After all, "A dress is a dress is a dress." Right?

But somehow, in all the rebelling against tradition and details and money spending, Ive figured out a few things. Ive figured out that tradition isnt always as bad as I like to think. After all, it became tradition for a reason, right? Ive figured out that details are important to people. And I can deal with it, because Im not the only person in the process. And Ive figured out that money spending... Well, it has to be done.

Weddings definitely bring out a different side in every different girl. It might be one of the most interesting parts about them. And I find myself wondering if maybe, just maybe, the normal me that would rather wear black nail polish, men's mesh shorts, and oversized hoodies every day of the week will be trumped, just this one day, by the desire to wear earrings, lace, and heels. I have yet to find out which side will win out...

Good thing I have my mom to look out for me. Though I think Ill pass on the earrings.

In "other news," I just found an article today relaying the details of 22-year-old Jose Rivera, an officer in a federal prison in San Joaquin Valley, California, who was stabbed to death by two inmates with homemade weapons at the end of June. FBI is investigating....

Oh ya, and the frequent usage of blogs are a paradox to America's obsession with privacy laws. Interestingly enough named the privacy paradox.

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Lesson for Today: Praying on a conference call creates somewhat an awkward situation: do you close your eyes or not? I know it doesnt matter as far as praying goes, but somehow, I still have yet to find a comfortable solution to this problem, even after multiple calls beginning and ending in prayer...

An Attitude Adjustment by God...

2008-07-01T15:26:00.005-04:00

Another article inspired post. New York Times just published an article on Prison Fellowship, Mark Early, and Pat Nolan this past weekend. Called Unlikely Allies on a Former Wedge Issue, it gives Mark's perspective on how crime is no longer an issue that separates Democrats and Republicans. In the recent years, it has come to be an issue that is more common-ground than anything. In light of the upcoming election, this article is definitely relevant.

On a more personal level, reading about Mark Early's former position as attorney general of Virginia, and how he began to reverse his previous stands is pretty powerful. Seeing the prisoners as real men, pushing for new laws to help them, and fighting for them instead of against them... Quite the transformation. He realized these were “not the Ted Bundys, the mass murderers” but “kids who reminded me of my kids, serving 5, 10, 15 years for drugs and going out and being rearrested again.”

I think his story, the irony and the dramatic change (or as he puts it, an "attitude adjustment by God"), shows the greatness of God. Pat Nolan, too. Former California legislator turned advocate on behalf of prisoners. Like the lives of so many of men this ministry touches, his changed when he found the reality of God in prison. “I went into prison believing in God, and I came out knowing him. I understood how much he loved us, even in a dark place.”

The stories of the changed lives is what keeps this ministry going. Testimonies from men who find forgiveness in Jesus while in jail. Women who find significance. Kids who find direction.

I was sitting at my desk today, working on whatever Tuesday afternoon usually brings, and I overheard some staff reading a couple letters from prisoners seeking help. The stories of these men would break your heart. All they want is to know someone cares. One man specifically wrote to get a penpal, "someone who will write me," because his family has no contact with him. This is what its about: helping people. People who no one wants to help. We need to realize Jesus loves them; no more, no less than any person sitting in a pew on Sunday morning. Yet, somehow we cant quite grasp that. Until we do, we have yet to truly, actively, love Him: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

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Lessons for Today: 1.) The children's book Dad's In Prison is, according to the single review on Amazon, "...also fick enough to conceal a hacksaw or other small tool." Just in case you were wondering. 2.) In a Swedish manner, Im completely neutral in saying check out this article on Obama's plan to recruit evangelicals through promoting faith-based programs.

Face to faith...

2008-06-26T14:32:00.006-04:00

"I get asked all the time what's the best predictor of success when somebody's coming out of prison," says Ari Zavaras, executive director of Colorado's DOC. "Without question, if somebody had a true spiritual conversion — not the jailhouse kind that gets all the jokes, but the kind where they develop a spiritual base — I'd be almost able to bet a year's pay, without worry, that they're not going to reoffend."

This quote comes from a June 22, 2008 article from denverpost.com on the rehabilitation of inmates.

ED of CO's DOC is willing to bet a year's pay on the fact that true spiritual conversion will keep an ex-offender out of jail. If he sees the effects of such a decision, why are programs like Prison Fellowship's InnerChange Freedom Initiative being fought so hard against?

I think the mindset of this country is that prison is a place for punishment first, and punishment only. No amount of mercy should be shown because justice should be served. Its this idea that has resulted in the mess our prison system is today. Recitivism rates are higher than ever, prisons are packed, and states are spending far more of their budget on correctional issues than on other issues, like education.

Read this article. It will give you a personal story (or three) to put to the ever looming and abstract idea of "prisoner." It will help you understand that, if things are going to change, justice needs to include rehabilitation and restoration. No longer can justice simply equal punishment.

"Incarceration," a converted ex-offender says, "is no more than a captive audience for enlightenment and awakening." As followers, we need to hear the Master calling out, "I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest."

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Lesson for Today: More a memorial than a lesson: 51 year old Donna Fitztgerald, a corrections officer at Tomoka Correctional Institution in Florida, was raped and murdered by 39 year old inmate Enoch Hall yesterday. Serving two life sentences already, Enoch Hall is imprisoned for charges of sexual battery with a weapon and kidnapping. "The entire department grieves the murder of one of our finest officers and we pray for the victim's family during this difficult time," said DOC Secretary Walter McNeil.

To Embrace Suffering...

2008-06-23T16:09:00.005-04:00

This morning I sat through an interesting staff meeting, talking about Board Decisions regarding different aspects of the ministry. It was good to be there, and learn more about how the ministry works in process, not just vision. But I couldnt quite pay attention, as my mind was still on the topic of devotions that began the meeting.

Using verses like Romans 8.17-18 ("I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."), 1 Peter 4.16 ("...if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name..."), and Acts 5.41 ("The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."), we discussed the role suffering plays in our lives as Christians.

The reason I was so caught up with it during the meeting, and all day, is not because I havent heard the topic before, or even because it hit me in a new way. I have been so focused on this morning's devotions because of the story that was used to press home the point.

Esther and Phil, 29, have been missionaries overseas for close to 2 years. They have a been blessed with a baby girl, Anna, and a growing ministry. Three weeks ago, Phil contracted Dengue fever. On June 14, he went in for more testing and, while the Dengue fever was getting better, they found a bacterial infection in his system that caused his breathing to be severely labored. The next day, he was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia and transferred to the ICU. On June 16, Phil died.

It all happened so quickly. But somehow, Esther walked through it like she had been prepared. On June 16, the day Phil died, her blog was entitled, "Perfect Faithfulness," a reference to Isaiah 25.1. This was a verse that Phil had long ago made the two of them memorize, knowing that they would need something to hold on to during their journey together: "O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago."

To be able to declare the perfect faithfulness of the Lord on the day your husband and father of your child dies... It shows complete and utter abandonment to the Almighty, a trust that goes beyond lip service or a false front. His strength in her is something that humbles me.

She wrote on June 17, after a small memorial service in their town, of how she rejoiced as the gospel was shared with several unbelievers who attended: "But the Lord is so good. I couldnt have imagined a service much more the way Phil would have wanted it... Four people went up and shared the gospel. Each in the unique way and how sure we were that he was with the Lord. It was great. People keep saying what a legacy he left here in such a short amount of time."

God, grant us the strength to so wholly embrace suffering as a way to walk in the likeness of your Son, that we declare you perfectly faithful in every situation.

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Lesson for Today: Interesting article showing the ever consuming struggle of separation of church and state...

Something Bigger...

2008-06-19T16:52:00.010-04:00

Staff devotions this week were... refreshing. Walking into a mix of people from countries all around the world, united simply by their love for Jesus and their heart for prisoners and their families, is quite the experience. Imagine it. And if you cant, well then, take my word for it.

This week is board meeting week. The board of Prison Fellowship International met during the first half of the week, and today began the meeting of the PFUSA board. This meant that this morning, PFI and PFUSA members were both here, and they took part with the national staff in devotions. Not only did they take part, but the PFI board ran them.

As the board shared what the Lord is doing around the world through prison ministry, I found myself completely drawn. Raymundo Leal from Mexico was especially moving. He described his journey that brought him to this place. It started when he retired, an extremely well-known and successful business man, at age 50. He decided he wanted to spend his life helping the poorest of society. Through a series of events and talking with others about his new dream, he realized that he did not know how to pray. His prayers consisted of less than 5 minutes talkings "to the wall," and he was too bored to ever go farther. So he invested time and effort into learning how to pray. He gradually learned, going from 5 minute arrow prayers, to two hours a week, to multiple hours a day. This was the beginning of his ministry.

As it turns out, he was brought to a man who was fully addicted to drugs. Having never been in such a situation, he told the man, "I do not understand what you are going through. But I can teach you how to pray without getting bored, and it will change your addiction." So the man agreed, Raymundo taught him, and his addiction was completely broken. The man ended up taking a few of his friends to Raymundo, telling him that they wanted to learn how to pray as well. So Raymundo agreed to teach the friends with the man's help. Well, these men, too, were saved from their addictions. Before he knew it, Raymundo was brought to a group of 200 men, taught them all how to pray, and they were healed. He then began his own house to bring these men in and help them.

Soon, a governor in a northern state of Mexico heard of Raymundo and wanted his help to be broken of his own addiction. All done privately, of course, to save face, Raymundo taught him how to pray and God healed the governor. When the governor saw the power in this ministry, he asked Raymundo to start working with the men in his state imprisoned for drug addictions. A whole new ball game, Raymundo took the challenge. The governor watched as the 90% recitivism rate at the prison dwindled down to only 9% of the men in Raymundo's program being reincarcerated. He later became involved with Prison Fellowship, and his ministry continues to expand today, as already 8900 men have gone through the program.

Ian Elliot also spoke. From New Zealand, he talked of the secularism in his country, how leaders can never speak of being religious in anyway if they want a political future, how people on the streets do not profess faith, how privitized religion is. Far different from this country, he says. As he spoke, he portrayed his vision and belief that a revolution is coming. Not from evangelists or Bible scholars, not well known leaders or faces in the media. But from the lowest of the low, the poorest of the poor. The incredible movement he is seeing through prison ministry in his country has him convinced that God is going to bring revival through these men, women, and their families that have been touched while in prison. There are too many transformations and changed lives for him to believe otherwise.

Chuck Colson, a part of the US board, then stood up and reiterated Ian's vision. Talking of the powerful stories we had just heard from ministries around the country, he quietly and humbly said, "This is God. Just like the rest of this ministry - its always been God."

Sitting there, listening to these men of faith describe their experiences with the God of Change, I realized how significant everything really is. In this ministry, I am part of something so much bigger. Bigger than myself, bigger than my own ministry, bigger than the national ministry, even. Its a world ministry. And not only Prison Fellowship. Being part of the body of Christ means being part of something so much bigger than ourselves and our local church. We dont always realize it, but when we do, a significance and meaning that can only come with being part of something so large, sets in. And it all becomes worth so much more.

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Lesson for Today: Apparently, pregnancy pacts are now a part of high school... Who knew?

The Soul's Common Cold...

2008-06-18T21:04:00.004-04:00

Greg Levoy's "the common cold of the soul":

To sinful patterns of behavior that never
get confronted or changed,
abilites and gifts that never get
cultivated and deployed-

until weeks become months, and
months turn into years,

and one day youre looking back on a life
of deep, intimate, gut wrenching
conversations you never had,
great bold prayers you never prayed,
exhilirating risks you never took,
sacrificial gifts you never offered,
lives you never touched,

and your sitting in a recliner with a
shriveled soul, and forgotten dreams...

and you realize there was a world of
desperate need, and a God calling you
to be a part of something bigger than yourself-
you see the person you could have
become but did not; you never
followed your calling.

All too common to be sure.

...

Lesson for today: Evening naps are a gift to humankind.

Momentary...

2008-06-16T20:49:00.006-04:00

As I sat in church yesterday, I came to a realization. After a long week of failure after failure in living the life I was called to live, I was so refreshed to just praise Jesus. There was no trying to live up to expectations, no trying to be the best I could, no relying on whatever strength I could muster... It was true and honest praise for who He is when I am not. No, true and honest praise for who He is. Period.

And I realized that I had been striving all week long. I had been trying to be "good" in my own strength. I had been trying to make up for the previous sin by being better the next time around. I had been failing, then trying the same solution for the same problem the next time - and failing again. I realized that I needed to quit striving, quit working through my own ambitions, and simply lean on him.

It was one of those, "How did I miss this?" and "How am I so dense?" kind of moments. I was so excited to leave church and live in this new attitude, having a refocused mind.

Yet somehow, life hit, and it all left like a whisp of smoke in the wind. It was so strong yesterday, at least yesterday morning it was. Until I made it to the car and thought about all I was going to do that day, things I had to get done and places I had to be. And all of the sudden the person sitting next to me in church, whom I had just been called to love and reach out to, turned into no one more signficant than simply the slow driver I got stuck behind, the guy I impatiently passed on my way out of church as fast as possible. And today, not only is that mindset gone, its history.

Im reminded of how essential it is to seek victory moment-by-moment. If you take one look back, or let your eye off the ball for one second, you are overcome. Life isnt a stroll, its a battle. And when we forget that, the enemy knows hes won.

...

Lesson for Today: Tiger is one great golfer. And Ive hit the understatement of the.... well, if ever there was an understatement, that is it.

I Learn of Love...

2008-06-13T19:47:00.005-04:00

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has been shown to me.

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Lesson for Today: Trying to trade city land for a free house will land you in the slammer, rather than a new home. Thanks, Diane, lesson learned.

Extraordinary Movement...

2008-06-12T20:47:00.008-04:00

I went into the PF library this afternoon to glance over Chuck's books. I found his account of the growth of the organization, Freedom Behind Bars. Its a short book, and one I hadnt yet heard of, so I figured itd be a good grab.

A quote from the introduction is worth noting. Its one that shows the power of reaching out to the prisoner and the humility of the man behind this organization. But most importantly, it shows the greatness of a God that moves. Rather than risk tainting its impact, Ill let the quote speak for itself:

Perhaps God Himself is raising a movement in the prisons to bring the revival we all hope and pray for....

Ive had a glimpse of this. I recently visited the California Women's Prison at Frontera for a service attended by more than 400 women under a great tent in the prison yard. The speaker told her childhood, when she was abandoned by her father and abused by her mother. Then she told the inmates about God who will never abandon us, never hurt us.

As she spoke, I was amazed to see a Christian inmate walking up and down the aisle, unfurling a roll of toilet paper. I was sitting in the back and couldnt imagine what she was doing. Then I moved to the front and saw: she was handing tissue to woman after woman whose faces were streaming with tears.

Later in the service, it was my turn to speak. And as I stood on the platform, I sensed the Spirit descending on that crowd. It was all powerful and deeply convicting - clearly the touch of God Himself.

I have spoken in many of the great churches around the world. But Ive never experienced anything like I did on this day. As I looked out at those women under the sunbaked tent, I caught a vision of what God may be doing: working, as He so often has, through the powerless, raising up a mighty army of disciples.

In the pages that follow, youll read the story of how God has brought about this extraordinary movement. This is not my story, or even the story of Prison Fellowship. It is the story of a sovereign God who is utterly faithful.

Praise Him for the great things He has done!

...

Lesson for Today: The best part of working in an office is the free ice cream and chocolate syrup that comes after an average meeting.. Some things in life obviously just need to be celebrated for celebration's sake.

Modern Love???

2008-06-11T18:47:00.012-04:00

During work today, while researching for more information to add my already too long list on the Generation Y lifestyle, I came across an interesting article. USC senior Joel Walkowski wrote the essay entitled Let's Not Get to Know Each Other Better, which intrigued me enough to send me in search of more "modern love" articles.

Written for a New York Time's contest asking young adults what love means to them, 4 or so essays were published by Gen Y-ers across the country. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. Its not that it's that great of a topic - in fact, most were somewhat callous and harsh viewpoints on an incessantly overdone topic. But what caught me is that this is real life. Its a true lifestyle these people were writing about: hook up after hook up, casual relationships abounding, hearts hardening with each one.

In case you arent interested in reading the entire article by Walkowski, let me give you a quick taste:

This was a weird choice, as I’m not sure I know anyone who has ever had a real date. Most elect to hang out, hook up, or Skype long-distance relations. The idea of a date (asking in advance, spending rent money on dinner and dealing with the initial awkwardness) is far too concrete and unnecessary. As the adage goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Why pay for dinner if you can sit around watching TV? If you stay at home, you hardly even need to stand up, let alone put on a nice shirt....

A friend of mine, a normal girl who is neither especially social nor aloof, engages in hookups unabashedly — she’s just doing what she wants and doesn’t regret or overthink it. Except for one time when she woke up in some guy’s embrace, got out of bed and noticed his bookshelf. I’m not sure what it was about the contents that impressed or moved her; maybe the books suggested a gentle soul. All I know is what she told me: “I only felt bad after seeing his books.” The books had made him a real person, I guess, one she liked. Or pitied. Because then it was on to the next.

One of the other essays especially caught my attention. Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define, by Marguerite Fields, discusses her lack of success with past boyfriends, and, to put it simply, the losers she has dated. Try this one:

There was the guy who wore more makeup than I did, and the one who waxed his eyebrows clean off his face. And the one who slept with a guy when he was drunk, then with another when he was sober. (But he insisted he wasn’t gay, just curious, and since when was I so uptight anyway?)

The real kicker is how she ends the essay:

I tried to remember that I was actively seeking to practice some Zenlike form of nonattachment. I tried to remember that no one is my property and neither am I
theirs, and so I should just enjoy the time we spend together, because in the end it’s our collected experiences that add up to a rich and fulfilling life. I tried to tell myself that I’m young, that this is the time to be casual, careless, lighthearted and fun; don’t ruin it.

At the risk of sounding naive and out of touch with my own generation, I wont describe my surprise, or my amazement, or even my gratefulness I have a guy who, a. isnt like this, and b. keeps me from being like this. I guess instead of that, Ill just leave it with the following thought: I wonder how it got to this point, and why its tolerated as a real way of life, when there is so much better to be had. As for me, I think Id rather buy the cow to own, than to get the milk for free.

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Lesson for Today: Im not one for blanket generalizations, but I think its safe to say that IT people as a whole can usually solve the Rubiks Cube in 4.5 minutes flat.

Hiring Ex-Offenders...

2008-06-10T21:12:00.008-04:00

This is a "Did You Know?" day, because before today, much of this I didnt....

After attending the Hearing this afternoon before the Subcommittee of Federal Workforce, Postal Service, and the District of Columbia on the issue of "An Examination of Federal Employment Practices/Policies on Hiring Ex-Offenders," I learned a lot about the reentry situation for those who have been incarcerated. First, recitivism rate can mean two things: rearrest rate, and reincarceration rate. I was unaware they were categorized as two seperate things within the whole of "recitivism." In America today, there are more people incarcerated per capita than any other country in the world. 2.3 million people are in prison in the US, compared to 1.5 million in China. 650,000 inmates are released every year, and within three years, 50% will be reincarcerated, and 66% will be rearrested. Those numbers are astounding, and quite clearly show a problem.

The head of the committee, Congressman Danny K. Davis, introduced the 2nd Chance Act, which "is designed to rehabilitate and to prepare ex-offenders for a healthy and positive reentry into normal society once they are released from correctional facilities and institutions and to reduce recidivism." Obviously, he has vested interest in determining whether or not the federal government is doing a decent job of hiring ex-offenders, providing jobs that enable them to become good citizens. At one point during the hearing, he stated that the government cannot expect private businesses to hire ex-offenders if it is not being done at a federal level... I think it was a really solid point.

Particularly interesting were the testimonies of Roberta Meyers-Peeples, Director of National H.I.R.E. Network, Mark Early, President of Prison Fellowship Ministries, and William R. Calhoun, Jr., Executive Vice President of Clark Construction Group, LLC. Meyers-Peeples runs an organization that specifically works with ex-offenders to help them obtain employment. Of course, Mark Early had much a lot of good things to say on the subject. His testimony was extremely informative and persuasive on the up hill battle that reentry is for all ex-offenders. And Calhoun runs a prestigious construction company that hires ex-offenders. Read their testimonies (attached to their names). Youll learn a lot.

Today's hearing served to not only increase my knowledge about the problems involved in reentry in our society, but also to deepen my heart for the issues prisoners and their families face. Jesus' call to go to the prisoner was not in vain.

(To View PFM's new article on the hearing, and a summary of Mark Early's testimony, click here.)

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Lesson for Today: Or should I say lessons, for today's came in a set of three: 1. Women you dont know talking about weight issues in an elevator can be an extremely awkward situation. 2. Do not pass a cop going 62 mph on a 55 mph highway, as it apparently makes them pretty mad. 3. Walking with direction while dressed professionally will make you as professional as a real professional. At least on Capital Hill, it will.

Worth the Price...

2008-06-09T19:10:00.007-04:00

Nothing profound, just a thought as my phone rang:

I have this song that I just changed to my ring last week. I had it set about a year ago, and now Ive brought it back. Its one of those songs that is good enough to let my phone ring a few times, just so I can enjoy hearing it, and perhaps sing along... Anyway, the best part of the song goes, "Thank You for showing me that I was made for something better. I will walk down the narrow road. And fear will never stop my love. Ill see You through to the end."

Last night as my phone rang, a thought flashed through my mind, just long enough for me to catch it. Heres the thought, expanded upon: Why is it that we need to be reminded that we were made for something better? Why is that such a hard concept? That it becomes so easy for us to fall into being okay with good enough, or even less than that? Why do we have to be told that we are called to something higher before we will actively pursue it? I think it's because, well at least for me, it takes work and effort on a day-by-day, hour-by-hour, even moment-by-moment basis. I think I tend to forget that idea, and as the minutes for which Ive lived for myself begin to compound, I fall behind. Life starts to overwhelm me, and all of the sudden, its all about anything but Him again.

The ride must be worth the price of admission. To know and to love Him, to have Him show us we were made for something better, certainly is.

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Lesson for Today: The word macabre is defined: "1. gruesome and horrifying; ghastly; horrible;
2. of, pertaining to, dealing with, or representing death, esp. its grimmer or uglier aspect; 3. of or suggestive of the allegorical dance of death."

Eternal Perspective...

2008-06-08T15:57:00.007-04:00

It was McLean Bible Church's topic for this morning's service. One that we may have all heard before, but needs to be heard again and again, until it finally gets through. (Quick Side Note: According to The Washington Post, weekly attendance of MBC reached 13,000 by fall '07. You dont realize the enormity of that number until its applied to people belonging to one church. And see the size of the building to serve all of them. This morning, I realized it driving into their own two story parking garage and getting lost on my way into church...)

The service was centered around the following idea: Our ability to live lives of passion, filled with holy abandonment to the will of God, lies solely in our ability to interpret our circumstances with an eternal perspective. The pastor, Todd Phillips, then defined eternal perspective as interpreting sacrifices in light of the whole - glorifying God and spreading the gospel. In order to better communicate this truth, he used the real life examples of Steve Sawyer and David Ring. Their stories need to be shared.

Steve Sawyer had a significant impact on the Kingdom, all because of his perspective. "Id rather have AIDS and know Jesus, than not have AIDS and not know Christ." He chose to embrace his suffering and allow God to use it. And with that goal at heart, Steve reached students all across the nation, telling his story on college campuses. Simpy because, as he said, "my life took on a whole new perspective." Pretty compelling.

David Ring, likewise, has a powerful story. Check it out: David Ringer Testimony Wow. How can a man like that, with Cerebral Palsey, stand up there and honestly say, with joy in his heart, "If you dont like the way I am, hang in there, Im still in the oven...God's still cookin on me"? He can say that, instead of drawing pity and dwelling in resentment because he knows, deep in his heart, that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. His example brings me to shame, yet inspires me on toward Christ.

And one more quick note on the subject. I talked to Chuck Colson for a few minutes today. And to fit in with the theme of the day, we got onto the topic of God using suffering to make us more like Christ. Talking about his new book, The Faith, Chuck said, "I wrote something in there that many Christians do not like. I wrote that the closer we come to being like Christ, the more apt we are to suffer." He then went on to say that after having two out of three children battle cancer, he has found that God is good. Eternal perspective, indeed.

After all of this, I may go on to live my self-focused life. I may wake up tomorrow and be more worried about the feeling of loneliness that comes with being away from home than I am about how God is trying to draw me to Himself. I may get wrapped up in missing those I love, instead of getting wrapped up in the closeness of God's presence. I may fall into the mentality of simply getting through the day, and miss the joy God is trying to bring me in a bird's chirp, the sun's warmth, or the whisper of my name as He calls me. But I pray I will not. I pray His message to me today through these stories changes me, and tomorrow my perspective is completely eternal...

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Lesson for Today: Apparently its possible to drive from Hawaii to Virginia, if the Hawaii license plate I saw today on a Ford Escape is any indication.

People Watching...

2008-06-07T23:17:00.009-04:00

Some friends and I went to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware today. Its one of those places where the whole town is centered around the tourist attraction, built and thriving on out of towners. Temperature was in the 90s, a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, at the beginning of the summer season. The perfect place and time for people watching.

I noticed a lot sitting on the beach and walking through the town of T shirt shops and ice cream parlors. I saw two little boys, one with blonde curly hair, the other black with his ear pierced, that rated about a 10 on the scale of cuteness. They made me wonder what makes kids so fun to watch, and whether their parents feel the same way. I saw plenty of girls dressed (if you can call it that) in bathing suits which, according to the law of nature, should not be staying on their bodies with the amount of material holding them up. And it made me wonder how wearing that makes them feel, and how wearing that would make me feel, short term and long term. I watched a grandma sitting behind me dealing with an obstinate grandchild who cried and screamed for a solid 30 minutes. And I wondered if her patience was just her saintly way, or if it was influenced by outside cirucmstances I could never know. I saw a Catholic and a Protestant having a peaceful conversation about Christianity, and wondered why that happens so seldom. I saw two girls taking pictures of a guy they thought was all that, and the awkwardness that occured when he realized it. And I wondered what theyll do with those pictures after today. I saw a tattoo artist sitting at his booth with a girl all over him, wondering.. well, I wondered plenty of things with that scenario.

And I thought: its funny how every person you see can make you consider something different about life, and your own story...

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Lesson for Today: When talking to a guy about his previous cheerleading coach, never, under any circumstances, refer to her as a dance teacher. Never.

Blogging...

2008-06-06T20:07:00.006-04:00

Blogging... Confusing, or not? I never really saw the point in it. I guess it was always one of those, "If youre into it, sweet, but Im far too private for it," kind of a thing. But lately, Ive been rethinking the whole blogging deal. I think because Ive met some pretty cool people who blog, Ive read some fairly interesting blogs, and Ive opened my seriously restricted mind on the whole subject.

Once I realized blogging doesnt have to be telling your secrets, or revealing your inner soul, I made significant strides. Heres my take: Something hits me, and I want to share it, so I blog it. Its that simple. And thats what is so attractive to me.

There are things I think I think, but I want to test it out first, or I want to make the thought known more anonymously than just to tell the next guy over. Hence, blogging. So here is my attempt at it, whatever the result may be.

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Lesson for Today: While heading W on the Va 7 through Leesburg, the Target and Walmart will always be on your right. No amount of U turns or looking to your left, wishing it would appear at every stop light, will change that.